Venting I hate being trans.

[NoLoveNoHope]

Everyday the dysphoria gets worse like it's reminding me how I'll never be how I want to be and that I'll always be a let-down. I just want to be pretty although it looks like it's unobtainable. I look at any woman I see for minutes, analyzing how I'll never be good enough. I wish I wasn't born defective. I don't really see a point to continue much; I have nobody to live for and nothing to be excited about. All I do day after day is just sit in silence about how I'll never be good enough, nobody will see me how I want them to. I don't even want to go outside anymore, I just don't want people seeing me as something I'm not.

I wish this nightmare will all end soon, I truly hate it here - even more with a freak like myself.

 

[Ultimatium]

There's more to life than looks but if you want to give up just at that. Many ugly people live . Life is much more than looks but if you think this is the end . It's the end.youre the main piece you want to end the game it's your choice. Make sure you have no regrets before the end . The grim nothingness is not going to be any good as well

 

[angel31]

I am so sorry life is like that for u, u dont deserve this (obv.) but u are not the problem. The people stopping u from being who u are are… I know this may sound dumb but thats how it is… I am sending u a huge hug and hope that u will feel better soon, however unlikely it may seem. And I am sure u are pretty… if u ever want to chat u can always PM me of course :) Love <3

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Everyday the dysphoria gets worse like it's reminding me how I'll never be how I want to be and that I'll always be a let-down. I just want to be pretty although it looks like it's unobtainable. I look at any woman I see for minutes, analyzing how I'll never be good enough. I wish I wasn't born defective. I don't really see a point to continue much; I have nobody to live for and nothing to be excited about. All I do day after day is just sit in silence about how I'll never be good enough, nobody will see me how I want them to. I don't even want to go outside anymore, I just don't want people seeing me as something I'm not.

I wish this nightmare will all end soon, I truly hate it here - even more with a freak like myself.

Hello @NoLoveNoHope,
I'm not trans, so I don't have first-hand experience, but I have a friend who is a trans woman.
She said "my life is a torture" and frankly, I feel like even the word torture is an understatement.
She has a husky voice and she can't bear it. People sometimes think she's a man.
She's not so tall but can't find shoes which she can wear because her feet are wide.
And her name on her documents is a man's name - which reveals she's trans.

She want to live as an ordinary woman but it seems to be so difficult, if not impossible.
And she has made multiple CTB attempts in her life. I couldn't offer any hope, because it seemed to be genuinely hopeless - I believe and have told her "trans women are women" repeatedly, but I know it's not enough in this cruel world.

She's a gem of an woman and I don't want her to die but I simply can't tell her not to kill herself. I feel like she's an woman who is trapped in a burning skyscraper and considering to jump off - I can never say "hold on", I don't want to watch her being burned alive.

I wish you peace, whatever you choose

 

[carac]

There's more to life than looks but if you want to give up just at that. Many ugly people live . Life is much more than looks but if you think this is the end . It's the end.youre the main piece you want to end the game it's your choice. Make sure you have no regrets before the end . The grim nothingness is not going to be any good as well

I feel like this is the blunt truth. I guess for a lot of people especially those with body dysmorphia and other such body image issue it's a very hard concept to take in, especially in today's world were looks are often held in the highest importance. For me it hasn't been that hard, I've always been ugly, was very spotty as a teen and started going bald at 21 I just pretty much accepted it and focused on over things in life that I felt were more important or probably also that I had other bigger things to deal with (I know that sounds patronising)

 

[WorthlessTrash]

There's more to life than looks but if you want to give up just at that. Many ugly people live . Life is much more than looks but if you think this is the end . It's the end.youre the main piece you want to end the game it's your choice. Make sure you have no regrets before the end . The grim nothingness is not going to be any good as well

Many ugly people live because they dont believe in suicide. That does not mean being ugly is a good thing. Thankfully us on this site realize we can choose to live with inferior looks, or not.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really tiring feeling trapped in that situation, existence is just too cruel and it's certainly such a horrible world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own. I see existence as being a nightmare as well, which for me only death can bring relief from, but anyway best wishes.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I know a lot of people are struggling with being trans.
I have no idea of what it must be like to go through this, and it must obviously be a living hell at times.
What really pisses me off are the people who are against transgender people.
They are completely lacking in empathy and basic understanding of how others are suffering, all because they are afraid of people who are different to so-called normal people.

 

[HAKMKS]

Everyday the dysphoria gets worse like it's reminding me how I'll never be how I want to be and that I'll always be a let-down. I just want to be pretty although it looks like it's unobtainable. I look at any woman I see for minutes, analyzing how I'll never be good enough. I wish I wasn't born defective. I don't really see a point to continue much; I have nobody to live for and nothing to be excited about. All I do day after day is just sit in silence about how I'll never be good enough, nobody will see me how I want them to. I don't even want to go outside anymore, I just don't want people seeing me as something I'm not.

I wish this nightmare will all end soon, I truly hate it here - even more with a freak like myself.

You are not a freak