Venting I hate being around people

[acdef0]

I hate being around people, and I hate maintaining relationships with people more. I have never enjoyed having company and I've always just prefered to be on my own. If I can, I will do most things on my own, even if it's not always ideal. I try and stay away from people as much as I can, even my own family. I want to say that whenever I have to interact with someone I always try and be polite, even if I really don't want to. I know that conflict just means having to be around people more, and I am not one to want to instigate that at all. Sometimes I forget that I have friends and realise that I've left their messages on delivered for weeks on end. I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to them to see that they hardly get responses from someone they want to talk to, but I just can't help it. I know it's bad, but it's like all my friends slip my mind whenever I'm not talking to them. I don't even feel worthy of talking to them a lot of the times either. It feels so wrong when a friend compliments me or wants to hang out with me because I always feel like I'm hiding something that I don't even know about away from them that they'll eventually find out about. I get so scared whenever I have to go out in public that I have to cover myself up so no one can see me. People make me so anxious. I sometimes get thoughts of blocking everyone I know and just never leaving my house again, but that's unrealistic, and I have to think about the feelings of my friends too. I've just been talking about how much I hate being with people, but sometimes I wish I could have a close relationship with someone because I get so scared when I'm on my own. It's hard to explain. I'm sorry if this is incomprehensible and I'm sorry for complaining

 

[PrismHon]

I am very much the same, minus the friends. I will avoid interaction at all costs. It is bad for me no doubt "humans are social animals" and all that, but it's the lesser of two evils for me.

 

[divinemistress87]

People make me uncomfortable to . My ptsd makes me scared of them and I feel like an Alien

 

[kosmischerunfall]

yeah me too, i feel so unworthy and undeserving of any relationships
it all comes from deep self hatred
i don't really do socialising very well and it makes me hate myself even more because i can't hide it and people will realise that im aware of this specific problem i dont really know how to talk to people because i never learnt social skills from my parents
i try to avoid social situations at all cost in case of being emberassed or humiliated and then im telling myself im okay with being lonely when thats clearly not the case i suffer from both
Isolation
&
being social

 

[Ligottian]

Most people just talk about small talk bullshit That's why I dread family gatherings, Finding people you can have a serious conversation with is like finding a needle in a haystack.

 

[F@#$]

I hate humanity also. I've been lucky enough to cater to my hatred. I live alone in an old farm house miles from anyone I work alone. No friends,fuck my family if it wasn't for having to shop for food and buy drugs I would never speak to anyone.

 

[Tao]

I hate being around people, and I hate maintaining relationships with people more. I have never enjoyed having company and I've always just prefered to be on my own. If I can, I will do most things on my own, even if it's not always ideal. I try and stay away from people as much as I can, even my own family. I want to say that whenever I have to interact with someone I always try and be polite, even if I really don't want to. I know that conflict just means having to be around people more, and I am not one to want to instigate that at all. Sometimes I forget that I have friends and realise that I've left their messages on delivered for weeks on end. I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to them to see that they hardly get responses from someone they want to talk to, but I just can't help it. I know it's bad, but it's like all my friends slip my mind whenever I'm not talking to them. I don't even feel worthy of talking to them a lot of the times either. It feels so wrong when a friend compliments me or wants to hang out with me because I always feel like I'm hiding something that I don't even know about away from them that they'll eventually find out about. I get so scared whenever I have to go out in public that I have to cover myself up so no one can see me. People make me so anxious. I sometimes get thoughts of blocking everyone I know and just never leaving my house again, but that's unrealistic, and I have to think about the feelings of my friends too. I've just been talking about how much I hate being with people, but sometimes I wish I could have a close relationship with someone because I get so scared when I'm on my own. It's hard to explain. I'm sorry if this is incomprehensible and I'm sorry for complaining

This makes so much sense to me. I'm lucky that the few friends I have know that I'll hardly reach out, reply slowly and like being alone. The only person safe enough to be close and exposed to is myself.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

yep

 

[wham311]

I hate being around people, and I hate maintaining relationships with people more. I have never enjoyed having company and I've always just prefered to be on my own. If I can, I will do most things on my own, even if it's not always ideal. I try and stay away from people as much as I can, even my own family. I want to say that whenever I have to interact with someone I always try and be polite, even if I really don't want to. I know that conflict just means having to be around people more, and I am not one to want to instigate that at all. Sometimes I forget that I have friends and realise that I've left their messages on delivered for weeks on end. I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to them to see that they hardly get responses from someone they want to talk to, but I just can't help it. I know it's bad, but it's like all my friends slip my mind whenever I'm not talking to them. I don't even feel worthy of talking to them a lot of the times either. It feels so wrong when a friend compliments me or wants to hang out with me because I always feel like I'm hiding something that I don't even know about away from them that they'll eventually find out about. I get so scared whenever I have to go out in public that I have to cover myself up so no one can see me. People make me so anxious. I sometimes get thoughts of blocking everyone I know and just never leaving my house again, but that's unrealistic, and I have to think about the feelings of my friends too. I've just been talking about how much I hate being with people, but sometimes I wish I could have a close relationship with someone because I get so scared when I'm on my own. It's hard to explain. I'm sorry if this is incomprehensible and I'm sorry for complaining

Aspd?

 

[Silently Dying]

I agree. I hate going to work and being around people who act like they're in 5th grade. They're in their 60s but talk about each other behind their backs. Grow the fuck up! Now they don't talk to me for whatever reason). It's wonderful. The female is extremely fat due to the fact that she orders food every day and eats like a pig. Yes I said it. So she decided to spend $850 a month for some drug to lose weight. So fucking lazy it's beyond belief. When I started the job the female told me what clothes to wear and what shoes to wear. Yeah I'm right on that. People are so fucking stupid it's beyond belief. I'd much rather be alone.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I crave privacy. I live in a halfway house with five roommates, other felons. All day, every day, people are around. I can't get away.

I don't know how to be around other people anymore.

 

[DeadSet]

Same. Wish there were more dogs in the world they don't answer back but are great companions

 

[badatparties]

Yep, my misanthropy is off the charts. People scare the shit out of me, and I've good cause for it.

 

[J&L383]

Aspd?

Same. Wish there were more dogs in the world they don't answer back but are great companions

 

[twistedtransistor47]

I feel this so much. I've lost all my real life friends from not speaking to them and now I'm slowly losing my online friends. I want friends so bad but I keep pushing everyone away for isolation because it's just more comfortable. It's miserable being alone but it's comfortable I guess

 

[Linda]

I hate being around people, and I hate maintaining relationships with people more. I have never enjoyed having company and I've always just prefered to be on my own. If I can, I will do most things on my own, even if it's not always ideal. I try and stay away from people as much as I can, even my own family. I want to say that whenever I have to interact with someone I always try and be polite, even if I really don't want to. I know that conflict just means having to be around people more, and I am not one to want to instigate that at all. Sometimes I forget that I have friends and realise that I've left their messages on delivered for weeks on end. I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to them to see that they hardly get responses from someone they want to talk to, but I just can't help it. I know it's bad, but it's like all my friends slip my mind whenever I'm not talking to them. I don't even feel worthy of talking to them a lot of the times either. It feels so wrong when a friend compliments me or wants to hang out with me because I always feel like I'm hiding something that I don't even know about away from them that they'll eventually find out about. I get so scared whenever I have to go out in public that I have to cover myself up so no one can see me. People make me so anxious. I sometimes get thoughts of blocking everyone I know and just never leaving my house again, but that's unrealistic, and I have to think about the feelings of my friends too. I've just been talking about how much I hate being with people, but sometimes I wish I could have a close relationship with someone because I get so scared when I'm on my own. It's hard to explain. I'm sorry if this is incomprehensible and I'm sorry for complaining

You're probably just introverted, or a bit autisic (or both). You would probably get on well with one single, close friend. The difficulty you have is that to find that person you will have to get out there and interact with people, perhaps a lot of people. All I can suggest is that you grit your teeth and do it. Start in a small way, so it's not too stressful, and gradually build up from there.