ArchmagePrincess
Magical Princess of Death
- Aug 31, 2022
- 145
I wanted to practice partial hanging since it's a very cheap and accessible option. Exit bag is my preferred choice but it's been hard getting and keeping all that stuff hidden. A rope is just a rope and easy to buy and store whenever.
I gave it a couple of shots to gain confidence that I could hang myself but because of my panic disorder every time I started to fade out, I got a major panic attack too that debilitated me and prevented me from controlling myself.
I guess the SI is particularly hard on my panic attacks. I read all about people's struggles with SI but it's a completely different beast experiencing it firsthand, my goodness it's awful. I wish it were as simple as just keeping that rope around and knowing I can leave whenever I need to, but I think because of my tendency for panic attacks I won't be able to hang myself. I know some suggest alcohol or using benzos but both have just worsened my panic attacks in the past.
Oh well, frustrating and disappointing experience, but I guess I won't be able to hang myself.
I gave it a couple of shots to gain confidence that I could hang myself but because of my panic disorder every time I started to fade out, I got a major panic attack too that debilitated me and prevented me from controlling myself.
I guess the SI is particularly hard on my panic attacks. I read all about people's struggles with SI but it's a completely different beast experiencing it firsthand, my goodness it's awful. I wish it were as simple as just keeping that rope around and knowing I can leave whenever I need to, but I think because of my tendency for panic attacks I won't be able to hang myself. I know some suggest alcohol or using benzos but both have just worsened my panic attacks in the past.
Oh well, frustrating and disappointing experience, but I guess I won't be able to hang myself.