Venting i got better but now i’m spiraling again

[iheartreb]

since this site got banned from my country and i got banned on twitter i finally got away from all the negativity around me, i left my first relationship and actually found someone else more loving and perfect. that ended in august and since then i started prostituting myself online to feel anything at all. i've been having intense suicidal thoughts again and i really want to get better again but i have no one to ask for help.. i don't wanna act on my urges i wanna feel good again like i used to. i miss being loved. being consumed by loneliness is just eating me from the inside out. i just feel so lost. i just really needed to get this off my chest

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

Love is amazing, and I hope you find your someone special. But I know depression can make that a lot harder.

Do you have a social services district in your county / province / area? If so, they may be able to connect you with low-cost therapy / psychiatry if that's a barrier.

 

[timf]

It sounds like you have a lot of love to give, but you need to get better at identifying who you can trust to give that love to. It can be hard to act with restraint when the possibility comes across your path. However, having been burnt a couple of times may help you hold off more until you have made a good assessment of the other person.