isn't it ironic? I convince myself that life is actually wonderful, that everything works together for me, that Universe is in my side, that my beliefs about suicide are just limiting beliefs, that my suffering is actually making me stronger, wiser.
While reading such affirmations and seemingly almost believing in them, suddenly feeling rush of positive energy inside of myself, seeing "signs" everywhere that life is really amazing, I start reading a post about successful ctb attempt and I badly wish it happened to me. I badly wish to be hit by train, while trying to believe that life is actually wonderful, I just shouldn't let my "limiting" beliefs stop my growth!
lol.
While reading such affirmations and seemingly almost believing in them, suddenly feeling rush of positive energy inside of myself, seeing "signs" everywhere that life is really amazing, I start reading a post about successful ctb attempt and I badly wish it happened to me. I badly wish to be hit by train, while trying to believe that life is actually wonderful, I just shouldn't let my "limiting" beliefs stop my growth!
lol.
