ILiveAlone
NEET
- Dec 31, 2025
- 14
I haven't logged in/posted for months. I want to say that a lot has happened since my last being here, but I don't do much in my life. I'm a NEET, so I don't have a job and I don't go to school, but I'm able to support myself (I receive checks for my disabilities)--so I live alone.
I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, I lost a lot of my friends (hence, I made this account). Therefore, I barely go out and I rarely talk to people. Obviously, I'm sad. I don't do anything, but I don't do have anything to do.
Even so, I still tried to do things--mainly to better myself. I tried to diet. I tried to exercise. I thought 'I may not have family or friends, but I can live for myself. I'll become so great that I won't have to rely on external validation and my love for myself will come from within rather than from others.'
Everything fell through. I can't even shower consistently; yet there I was trying to eat right every day. Of course I failed.
Time went by...and by...and by...and every day was the same. Nothing. I did nothing. I wanted to recover, but I did nothing to aid in my recovery. Either I started and stopped or never even tried. I didn't know what to do or I did, but I didn't want to do it. I became lazy.
A little over a week ago, I read a short story online and I decided to draw art for it. I've been drawing ever since I was young, but I only drew every once in a while whenever I felt like it. However, after drawing this drawing, I thought 'This is...okay. I've gotten...better, but...I should be better than this. I want to be better than this. I want to draw art that I can truly be proud of. I want to draw art that I can showcase to others.'
So I bought a sketchbook and a pack of pencils and, starting the following day, I began drawing for an hour a day. Every. Single. Day. I've been doing this for the past 8 days.
It was so...sudden. I don't know what came over me, but for the first time, I've actually been compelled to do something with my life. And I know it hasn't been that long, but:
1. In the past, I'd never continue to do anything (dieting, exercising) for over a day.
2. I want this.
I want to become a better artist. I will become a better artist. Because I started when I started, by the time the month is over, I will have drawn for 24 back-to-back hours. I'm really, really excited to see the improvement. I plan on continuing the challenge 'til the end of the year. Of course I'm going to continue to draw beyond that, but I want to make as much improvement in the shortest amount of time possible.
For the first week, I learned anatomy. For the second week, I'm continuing to practice anatomy. For the third week, I watched PewDiePie's video, so I'm going to attempt his method of drawing anime characters until 'perfection'. I feel like this'll help me continue to better my anatomy, on top of developing an art style. I've decided I'll use Blue Period as my muse because I think it's funny to use an anime about drawing to help me get better at drawing anime. Also, I feel like the story will inspire me.
I'm serious about this. Plus, I'm sure this consistency and determination will carry over to other aspects of my life.
Regardless, I'd like to show you some of my art. There's a lot of pages in-between in which I focus on heads, hands, feet, arms, legs, etc., but that's too many pictures to take, so here's a couple of pages from Day 1's session v. Today's session.
I don't have a lot of friends. Actually, I lost a lot of my friends (hence, I made this account). Therefore, I barely go out and I rarely talk to people. Obviously, I'm sad. I don't do anything, but I don't do have anything to do.
Even so, I still tried to do things--mainly to better myself. I tried to diet. I tried to exercise. I thought 'I may not have family or friends, but I can live for myself. I'll become so great that I won't have to rely on external validation and my love for myself will come from within rather than from others.'
Everything fell through. I can't even shower consistently; yet there I was trying to eat right every day. Of course I failed.
Time went by...and by...and by...and every day was the same. Nothing. I did nothing. I wanted to recover, but I did nothing to aid in my recovery. Either I started and stopped or never even tried. I didn't know what to do or I did, but I didn't want to do it. I became lazy.
A little over a week ago, I read a short story online and I decided to draw art for it. I've been drawing ever since I was young, but I only drew every once in a while whenever I felt like it. However, after drawing this drawing, I thought 'This is...okay. I've gotten...better, but...I should be better than this. I want to be better than this. I want to draw art that I can truly be proud of. I want to draw art that I can showcase to others.'
So I bought a sketchbook and a pack of pencils and, starting the following day, I began drawing for an hour a day. Every. Single. Day. I've been doing this for the past 8 days.
It was so...sudden. I don't know what came over me, but for the first time, I've actually been compelled to do something with my life. And I know it hasn't been that long, but:
1. In the past, I'd never continue to do anything (dieting, exercising) for over a day.
2. I want this.
I want to become a better artist. I will become a better artist. Because I started when I started, by the time the month is over, I will have drawn for 24 back-to-back hours. I'm really, really excited to see the improvement. I plan on continuing the challenge 'til the end of the year. Of course I'm going to continue to draw beyond that, but I want to make as much improvement in the shortest amount of time possible.
For the first week, I learned anatomy. For the second week, I'm continuing to practice anatomy. For the third week, I watched PewDiePie's video, so I'm going to attempt his method of drawing anime characters until 'perfection'. I feel like this'll help me continue to better my anatomy, on top of developing an art style. I've decided I'll use Blue Period as my muse because I think it's funny to use an anime about drawing to help me get better at drawing anime. Also, I feel like the story will inspire me.
I'm serious about this. Plus, I'm sure this consistency and determination will carry over to other aspects of my life.
Regardless, I'd like to show you some of my art. There's a lot of pages in-between in which I focus on heads, hands, feet, arms, legs, etc., but that's too many pictures to take, so here's a couple of pages from Day 1's session v. Today's session.
