I finally don’t feel like I want to die.

[camswithincams]

So, I'm making a decision to try to fix some of the things going wrong in my life.

I'm moving out of my mother's house and attempting to cut off contact entirely.

And. I realized something as I'm working on getting my affairs in order.

I don't truly want to die.

I don't want this to be over. Not yet.

I just need to get out of this horrific situation I'm in and then, then maybe I can start living.

Its so odd to say that I finally, after years and years of feeling trapped and hopeless, even after having my KN in a tiny glass jar in my photography supplies drawer for weeks, just waiting for the right time. I finally don't want to die.

Maybe this is too hopecore or whatever and I know escaping is going to be hard and hurt more than anything else but maybe, just maybe, It'll give me the chance to live instead of just surviving.

 

[mjolnir]

Leaving an environment that harms you is really difficult, but it can also be the beginning of something better. You don't need to solve everything at once, just take it step by step.

 

[Rihan]

Wishing you the best, OP!

 

[doener11]

Good for you! I wish you all the best. The only way for life to get better is by living! If you are sure, throw the KN away as a favour to your future self, then you can only go forward. Good luck!

 

[DivineBreadEnjoyer]

Eyyy cutting off people and environments that harm you is a really good idea, hope you can recover and live a life worth living, best luck with everything mate!