It's been a painful ordeal but I wanted to write this post as a warning/tell my story using SN.
I was feeling pretty shitty two weeks ago on a Wednesday. So much, that I decided to use the SN that I had around 3 to 4 bought years ago. The bottle was sealed and had never been opened. I was feeling pretty desperate to stop feeling shitty, so I scrolled past some posts about the routine, and decided to F it and just take the dose without doing all of the other steps. I fasted since I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning, but I took no other pills nor did I test before taking it. I took one sip and put the rest of my water down. I probably mixed one cup with the recommend dose of SN. I decided after swallowing that I did not want to SN that day. I didn't even know if I had bought something legit, so I just thought since I didn't take the whole thing I would be fine.
I was not.
My heart started beating really fast, my face felt hot. I started vomiting the water. Great I thought. At least it's out of me. However, I felt like retching more so I went to bathroom for one last puke. I was feeling a bit zoned out after that point. My dad found me and asked me what was wrong. He measured my blood oxygen after seeing my fingers were turning blue. I was still conscious at that point, and was able to respond slowly, but I wasn't able to get up. My memory from then on was in little chunks. Paramedics arrived, and they took me inside the ambulance asking what happened. At this point, I hadn't told anyone I had taken anything, but something broke inside of me that this was really happening and when the paramedics asked what really happened I told them that I was trying to commit suicide and took SN. He said that I would be fine and put me on oxygen. Long story short, I ended up in the ER and they were able to bring me back. I don't have any pictures, but I was consistently told I look better since when I came in I looked completely blue. I stayed in the hospital two days and then I was sent to a psychiatric ward for 8 days. I have no medical repercussions of my attempt that I know of aside from a burn looking wound on my butt that I don't know if it's because I got a bed sore or if it's because I fell on some type of liquid when I collapsed on the bathroom.
The psyc hospital is honestly really horrible, and I never felt more denigrated in my entire life. I was constantly being watched (from the hospital as well). They took away all of my things. I had not way of contacting anyone, and I had walked in without being to shower for four nights. The group therapy they make you attend is a joke. My parent's eventually brought me extras clothing, toiletries, etc of which some were taken away because I might "hurt myself with it" (Shoe laces, liquid to clean my glasses, pants with the strings on). Like please, a fucking shoelace of all thing. The psychiatrist could never figure out what was wrong with me, and I was constantly left in the dark of when I would be discharged. The staff, don't really care about anything but themselves. Also, you had to share the TV with the other people in your division. If you're bored of that, good luck finding something to entertain yourself with, all they provide you is crossword puzzles, and other small board games. The only thing I guess they did right, was make sure you take your medicine, and fed you 3 meals a day, and gave smoke breaks for the smokers.
Honestly, I just came back home from having to fight with the imbeciles at the receptionist office, because they couldn't spell my name right for the life of them, and didn't want to correct my doctor's note for going back to work. I'll be honest guys, I'm not at all glad to be here, but I do want to let people know that if your thinking about taking SN, let this be a reminder all the bs you're going to face if you survive. I'm not thinking of doing it again for the time being, just cause I have a lot going on right now, but please avoid being in the same situation as me if you think you're going to do something impulsive.
I was feeling pretty shitty two weeks ago on a Wednesday. So much, that I decided to use the SN that I had around 3 to 4 bought years ago. The bottle was sealed and had never been opened. I was feeling pretty desperate to stop feeling shitty, so I scrolled past some posts about the routine, and decided to F it and just take the dose without doing all of the other steps. I fasted since I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning, but I took no other pills nor did I test before taking it. I took one sip and put the rest of my water down. I probably mixed one cup with the recommend dose of SN. I decided after swallowing that I did not want to SN that day. I didn't even know if I had bought something legit, so I just thought since I didn't take the whole thing I would be fine.
I was not.
My heart started beating really fast, my face felt hot. I started vomiting the water. Great I thought. At least it's out of me. However, I felt like retching more so I went to bathroom for one last puke. I was feeling a bit zoned out after that point. My dad found me and asked me what was wrong. He measured my blood oxygen after seeing my fingers were turning blue. I was still conscious at that point, and was able to respond slowly, but I wasn't able to get up. My memory from then on was in little chunks. Paramedics arrived, and they took me inside the ambulance asking what happened. At this point, I hadn't told anyone I had taken anything, but something broke inside of me that this was really happening and when the paramedics asked what really happened I told them that I was trying to commit suicide and took SN. He said that I would be fine and put me on oxygen. Long story short, I ended up in the ER and they were able to bring me back. I don't have any pictures, but I was consistently told I look better since when I came in I looked completely blue. I stayed in the hospital two days and then I was sent to a psychiatric ward for 8 days. I have no medical repercussions of my attempt that I know of aside from a burn looking wound on my butt that I don't know if it's because I got a bed sore or if it's because I fell on some type of liquid when I collapsed on the bathroom.
The psyc hospital is honestly really horrible, and I never felt more denigrated in my entire life. I was constantly being watched (from the hospital as well). They took away all of my things. I had not way of contacting anyone, and I had walked in without being to shower for four nights. The group therapy they make you attend is a joke. My parent's eventually brought me extras clothing, toiletries, etc of which some were taken away because I might "hurt myself with it" (Shoe laces, liquid to clean my glasses, pants with the strings on). Like please, a fucking shoelace of all thing. The psychiatrist could never figure out what was wrong with me, and I was constantly left in the dark of when I would be discharged. The staff, don't really care about anything but themselves. Also, you had to share the TV with the other people in your division. If you're bored of that, good luck finding something to entertain yourself with, all they provide you is crossword puzzles, and other small board games. The only thing I guess they did right, was make sure you take your medicine, and fed you 3 meals a day, and gave smoke breaks for the smokers.
Honestly, I just came back home from having to fight with the imbeciles at the receptionist office, because they couldn't spell my name right for the life of them, and didn't want to correct my doctor's note for going back to work. I'll be honest guys, I'm not at all glad to be here, but I do want to let people know that if your thinking about taking SN, let this be a reminder all the bs you're going to face if you survive. I'm not thinking of doing it again for the time being, just cause I have a lot going on right now, but please avoid being in the same situation as me if you think you're going to do something impulsive.
