I fell for the “it gets better” meme

[Rocinante]

Over.
I'm stuck in some lame back water city so there's not much I can do. I have to wage slave a shitty job and go to school, hoping I can get a remote job. If not I'll rot in this place forever. I have no qualifications or much money so I can't really relocate.
It's like purgatory. Never began for me.
I could travel some and attend concerts in my free time to help cope, but I see no point. At the end of the day I will be back in the same position.
This is my fate for rotting away the last 6 years.I tried to make friends and they treated me weird due to lack of social media. I tried making normal conversation and I was disrespected. I only talk like this because I have experienced constant bullshit that I cannot (or any normal person) can put up with. It is unhealthy to enter abusive "friendships" where ppl expect u to submit to them.
I am social zero. I need to rope asap. Might as well before I become old and ugly.


In the end there's too many factors preventing anything from moving forward the way I want. It's a foot on my neck. I'd rather die I guess than face constant hell. I got 2 bottles of Nembutal for a peaceful exit. Gonna do it before the end of June.

 

[Zegers]

Sometimes i go out for a walk in the city but after a while theres nothing to do and just go back to the cell. There's no point even in leave the house. you are lucky to have N.

 

[endofafoxtwo]

Want to chat at all? :)

Sometimes i go out for a walk in the city but after a while theres nothing to do and just go back to the cell. There's no point even in leave the house. you are lucky to have N.

I feel this.
People tell me to go for a walk or whatever the fuck when I am particularly sad and all I can think is "walk, where?"
There's nowhere to fucking go and nothing to do.

 

[Kittzuni]

I'm sorry life hasn't been kinder to you. While I do understand where you are coming from life does get better for some of us. Does it get good enough to still want to endure the endless pain? That's an entirely different thing.

However, please don't beat yourself up over your decision and your bravery to keep trying and hoping until now. I admire you for trying and holding on this long and wish you the best of luck on your journey from this point forward.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Yeah, I've fallen for "it gets better" many times. I usually go for walks, but then... much like the others have said... I come back to my little cell. I consider it a blessing, though, that I have a firearm and adequate ammo. As I walk, I'm reminded of the coming collapse of society. That makes me feel better about what I'm going to do. I send love, light, and wishes for clarity and courage to you.

 

[Zegers]

I have a firearm

Could you suggest me one to buy? i dont know much about it, 9mm is fine?

I tried to make friends and they treated me weird due to lack of social media. I tried making normal conversation and I was disrespected

I tried for years to make friends, going out at night, talking to random people, forums, but nothing comes out, feel like i don't belong on this earth because i can barely connect with anyone and i have a physical disability so people treat you like a freak from the start.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Could you suggest me one to buy? i dont know much about it, 9mm is fine?

I tried for years to make friends, going out at night, talking to random people, forums, but nothing comes out, feel like i don't belong on this earth because i can barely connect with anyone and i have a physical disability so people treat you like a freak from the start.

Yes. A 9mm is great. It's powerful enough to do the job, and not nearly as messy as a .45 or a 12-guage. That's what I'm using. Make sure you use JHP ammo.

 

[Rocinante]

Sometimes i go out for a walk in the city but after a while theres nothing to do and just go back to the cell. There's no point even in leave the house. you are lucky to have N.

I used to while listening to music but I've walked every route possible more than I can count. It's gotten boring.

Want to chat at all? :)

Yes I would like to chat, thanks

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy you so much for having the Nembutal, it certainly sounds like the best way to ctb to me and I wish you the best with your plans. But saying that existing "gets better" certainly is a harmful lie, it's true that in this world hope is just a delusion to lead to more suffering. I think that existing only gets worse as time goes on and the horrible thing is that there is no limit as to how much one can suffer as long as they are trapped here.