I'm not meaning to doubt your intentions whatsoever, but do you think it's possible that maybe that's your way of telling yourself you aren't ready to give up just yet?
Honestly don't mean any doubt towards you. I just know that the human mind is an incredible thing that sometimes operates in bizarre ways. We are the stories we tell ourselves.
Maybe I have the wrong end of the stick completely, I don't know. I wish you all the best in any case.
No, it's really weighing on me. I don't want to hurt her, or have her think I abandoned her

When someone watched them they said that after they got home the cat kept looking at the door expecting me to come in as well, and she would run to the door when the doorbell rang, thinking it was me.
I have things to do first anyway, that will probably take two years seeing how slowly I'm able to do them, so if it was a madeup obstacle I'd have other obstacles regardless.
Thank you, I wish you the best as well
I know how you feel, I am going through something similar now..
Is there a family member they could both go to together or someone you feel more comfortable with them going to?
Where you could visit and help them adjust while you're still here?
Luckily they are still young enough where they may have an easier time adjusting, even if it might not seem like it at first.
But there's also the possibility of regret, you may still want to see them while you're still here..or you may worry about their well being, so I'm guessing it would have to be an arrangement that was in the cats' best interest as well as your own, which may be one in the same.
I'm sorry you can relate.
I don't really have anyone anymore. Thank you for the support and thoughts
