Venting I feel like insomnia is killing me

[ikiruNObungaku]

I have had insomnia for a long time now, and it is a horrible experience. Coupled by the fact that sometimes I feel like I see things at night, hallucinations or something like that, I cannot sleep. It has only gradually gotten worse, to a point where my doctor decided to put me on medication to help combat it. I do think the medication helped in some ways. I would not consider it a cure, but it was enough for me to get some rest at night in order to get through my days.

But last month, I ran out. My doctor had been refilling my prescription, but now refuses to unless I go back to get a check-up. I have no health insurance, my entire family lost their health insurance after my mother was injured at work and they fired her shortly after, and paying out of pocket simply costs too much. I have been without the medication for a month now and I feel like the insomnia has reached a disastrous level, far worse than how it was before. I fall asleep sporadically all through the day, but can never sleep at night. I watch the sun fall and the sun rise, walking around aimlessly sometimes, and only by around 7:00 AM can I fall asleep. But because of this, and with the naps, I wake up much later in the day and it is a repeating cycle. I have been having bad heart palpitations, tremors, and my memory is much worse. In the past I would not of considered my insomnia as a reason for my depression, but I do now.

I think my depression has gotten so much worse because of all of this, and it is especially hard because I cannot work like this, but a lack of work makes me feel unfulfilled. I am very sad. I would like to sleep permanently if possible. I feel like nothing will be able to get me sleep unlike the final rest. Not only will death give me the freedom of my mental burdens, but I can finally sleep. No more restlessness, no more seeing things at night. I know that sleep will be so wonderful...

 

[melodrama]

I'm also taking sleep medication and struggle with insomnia. My advice is to continue to sleep whenever you can. If you're dozing off during the day, take advantage of those naps and get more sleep. Yes, it'll mess up your sleep schedule and cause some issues, but that's usually better than going through the day without sleep or very little of it.

When I don't sleep, my day is terrible and I start to hallucinate too. Sleeping at the wrong time seems better to me than not sleeping at all. But of course, only do this while you're off your medication.

I also recommend taking melatonin in tablet or liquid form. You usually don't need a prescription to buy it. It's not as effective as medication, but it can help a little.

I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I wanted to share. Sorry if you were just venting. Wishing you the best.

 

[ikiruNObungaku]

I'm also taking sleep medication and struggle with insomnia. My advice is to continue to sleep whenever you can. If you're dozing off during the day, take advantage of those naps and get more sleep. Yes, it'll mess up your sleep schedule and cause some issues, but that's usually better than going through the day without sleep or very little of it.

When I don't sleep, my day is terrible and I start to hallucinate too. Sleeping at the wrong time seems better to me than not sleeping at all. But of course, only do this while you're off your medication.

I also recommend taking melatonin in tablet or liquid form. You usually don't need a prescription to buy it. It's not as effective as medication, but it can help a little.

I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I wanted to share. Sorry if you were just venting. Wishing you the best.

I am always happy when people respond. Thank you for your information, I will do my best. Today I went to buy melatonin for the first time. I hope it will be effective

 

[iwillsucceed]

I have had insomnia for a long time now, and it is a horrible experience. Coupled by the fact that sometimes I feel like I see things at night, hallucinations or something like that, I cannot sleep. It has only gradually gotten worse, to a point where my doctor decided to put me on medication to help combat it. I do think the medication helped in some ways. I would not consider it a cure, but it was enough for me to get some rest at night in order to get through my days.

But last month, I ran out. My doctor had been refilling my prescription, but now refuses to unless I go back to get a check-up. I have no health insurance, my entire family lost their health insurance after my mother was injured at work and they fired her shortly after, and paying out of pocket simply costs too much. I have been without the medication for a month now and I feel like the insomnia has reached a disastrous level, far worse than how it was before. I fall asleep sporadically all through the day, but can never sleep at night. I watch the sun fall and the sun rise, walking around aimlessly sometimes, and only by around 7:00 AM can I fall asleep. But because of this, and with the naps, I wake up much later in the day and it is a repeating cycle. I have been having bad heart palpitations, tremors, and my memory is much worse. In the past I would not of considered my insomnia as a reason for my depression, but I do now.

I think my depression has gotten so much worse because of all of this, and it is especially hard because I cannot work like this, but a lack of work makes me feel unfulfilled. I am very sad. I would like to sleep permanently if possible. I feel like nothing will be able to get me sleep unlike the final rest. Not only will death give me the freedom of my mental burdens, but I can finally sleep. No more restlessness, no more seeing things at night. I know that sleep will be so wonderful...

Been there. I used to fall asleep between 7am to 12pm next day, when I became jobless. It helps if you can somehow go offline around 8pm. I have apps now that lock all my apps so I won't have access to my phone after 7:30pm. My wifi is also set to turn off at 8pm. Since its in another room I dont really make the effort to go in there to turn it on. That forces me to do other things and eventually there is nothing to do but sleep. Also makes ur day feel longer once you sleep and wake up at a reasonable time.

 

[Ramin]

I watch the sun fall and the sun rise

I know how traumatizing that can be. Back in the days where my insomnia was worse, as night approached I would start to have a feel of defeat just by knowing I had to be prepared for another round of 8 hours tossing and turning on bed.
Melatonin, which was already mentioned itt, was what made me start being able to be sure that I would be able to sleep at night again, even if not perfectly (before, every night was almost like a gamble). Some people say it's not a good idea to use it, since it's a hormone, but I've been on it for 3 years already and so far it's still working.