Venting i feel like i don’t exist without him

[Awesomefoid67]

im writing this like a few hiurs after the beeakdown i had plus i had some diazepam so im chill now but its like idk i just kinda don't feel like a real person all my hobbies snd likes snd etc feel kinda superficial sometimes. it feels like im s ghost or a walking corpse like just surviving not living, but he actually makes me feel alive i love him so much i need him i need to be with him 24/7 he can save me from this

i'll post a screenshot from when i was dming him mid breakdown
also this i posted on my priv 'i don't even actually exist i feel like a ghost or a walking corpse or like im just an observer in this world only one person in the world makes me feel like i exist like there is no me just him, like in a metaphorical sense he is me you know"

how do i desl with feeling like this atleast for now until i can live with him

and why am i like this? what caused by my brain to be like this

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

Trust me I've been there multiple times and for the most part it's not a healthy way to live. I know it's difficult to not be around him but you have to train yourself. Start with doing like one thing a day by yourself that you can be comfortable with. I recommend a nice walk, a movie, a hobby, etc. It doesn't really matter what it is as long as you're not thinking about him and you're having a good time. Then start doing other things outside of your relationship with him as well.

It'll get easier when you're around him more often but you should still try to keep doing some things by yourself to have a healthy relationship. Most relationships do not work when one or both parties are always attached at the hip to the other. It may seem counterintuitive but the more time you spend together the easier it'll be to spend time apart. Right now he's constantly on your mind because you're feeling his absence in your life. It'll get better eventually.

Also as to why you might feel this way: have you looked into bpd? The feelings you're expressing are very common among people with bpd or cptsd. Both of those are usually triggered by trauma. I hope this was helpful and I hope you're doing well <3.

 

[Awesomefoid67]

Trust me I've been there multiple times and for the most part it's not a healthy way to live. I know it's difficult to not be around him but you have to train yourself. Start with doing like one thing a day by yourself that you can be comfortable with. I recommend a nice walk, a movie, a hobby, etc. It doesn't really matter what it is as long as you're not thinking about him and you're having a good time. Then start doing other things outside of your relationship with him as well.

It'll get easier when you're around him more often but you should still try to keep doing some things by yourself to have a healthy relationship. Most relationships do not work when one or both parties are always attached at the hip to the other. It may seem counterintuitive but the more time you spend together the easier it'll be to spend time apart. Right now he's constantly on your mind because you're feeling his absence in your life. It'll get better eventually.

Also as to why you might feel this way: have you looked into bpd? The feelings you're expressing are very common among people with bpd or cptsd. Both of those are usually triggered by trauma. I hope this was helpful and I hope you're doing well <3.

i cant not think about him hes the only thing in my life that makes me truly happy

also i have looked into bpd, wen't to a psychiatrist ages ago and they said i have "emotional and unstable personality traits"cor whatever but didnt actually give a diagnosis so idk if it is or isnt that and im always going back and forth about it in my head cus i don't know

 

[SASU-KE]

You seem to be into him and that's a good thing for you if he's into you the same amount.

However...

If he is overwhelmed then he will eventually find it difficult to be around you.

This is nothing against you, I'm just talking about the dynamics of any relationship. If it's one sided, it will always fall apart eventually. I wish you the best of luck and I hope it all works out though.