I feel guilty for being alive

[Lou_Charthethird]

I dont deserve life when im like this. Im not me. Im doing things i never wouldve done, desecrating my body, delegating my past to insignificance. My existence is fake, none of this real, i cant even imagine what life would be like if i were real. Im not fit for this. I dont remember what its like to value things. I cant aim for anything. I am shallow internally with no interests anymore and no values and nothing inside.
None of this real and i deserve to be dead

 

[suimaxxer]

sometimes i think about how my past self would view the current me. whether it be my child self or myself from just a few years ago, all i can think is that they would feel disappointed. and when i imagine my future, the only realities that seem possible are the disappointing ones. clearly, it would be better if i didn't have a future at all

 

[Lou_Charthethird]

sometimes i think about how my past self would view the current me. whether it be my child self or myself from just a few years ago, all i can think is that they would feel disappointed. and when i imagine my future, the only realities that seem possible are the disappointing ones. clearly, it would be better if i didn't have a future at all

God thats relateable. The past is a reminder of how far weve fallen and the future is an inevitable disaster.

 

[liquid jen]

I am wholly unqualified to coexist with the rest of society. It is borderline impossible for me to truly function. Recently I've gotten better at faking it around others, but that only increases my guilt long-term. Is the me I show in public really me? Am i doing the people I care about a disservice by showing them a false "better" me just for it to not be accurate? What about when they get closer and they see more and more of the facade fade? They'll leave, and if they don't I'm just causing them a burden they don't deserve. I need to be taken out.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

1. "You cannot please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha Ferreira (Victus Group)/Mark 8:36, Matthew 13:12

• "If you feel guilty, and worry about not being a good person, then it's a sign that you are a good person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise; bad people don't think about such things, and justify themselves as righteous." ~Suncha Ferreira/Psalm 51:17

2. The grass withers, the flowers fade, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:7-8)

3. The world hates liabilities, and would rather they not exist, as much as the rules dictate that all life is inherently valuable. (Proverbs 25:17)

Therefore, as much as I desire to live, and that a world without me would be awfully dull and grey, this isn't up to me; if I die, I die; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)

 

[PanaxMan]

sometimes i think about how my past self would view the current me. whether it be my child self or myself from just a few years ago, all i can think is that they would feel disappointed. and when i imagine my future, the only realities that seem possible are the disappointing ones. clearly, it would be better if i didn't have a future at all

Same it 100 percent would be the same way until he learns everything about the world

 

[Useless Idiot]

I feel the same way. I have emotional numbness for 6 years. I don't feel any deep feelings. Don't have any feelings I would normally have. Nothing inside. My life has been over since then..

 

[Lost Magic]

I feel guilty of being alive too. I just wrote a post about it. Sorry you are dealing with this pain. I actually hate myself for being on this forum talking about suicide for years and not going through with it. Hope mixed with suvival instinct is a BITCH!