Venting I feel betrayed

[amSleepy]

I really need advice, restarting my 1st year in university is all nice and all but the school I transferred into isn't cut out to be what I expected and I really can't see my future anymore. I'm regretting leaving my previous university (I did it not only out of the misery I felt at the time but also the fact I had someone that, or so I thought, that would transfer with me) and my tendencies are resurfacing, I so badly want out, I have methods in mind but don't know when or how to pull it off and also I have one thing I want to do before going but I need advice if it's selfish or not.

I want to experience sex before going since I do have a partner but I'm torn if I should do it because of my religious upbringing as well as the trauma I might induce on him knowing we did it and I still chose to die.

 

[U. A.]

as for the religion part: i can only imagine how deeply that's wormed its way into your psyche but it is a natural human thing; there's nothing wrong with it at all.
as for the effect on your partner, that's a harder one. i would say in general if he loves you it'll be traumatic if you die whether or not you have sex. but maybe it would be so good it's be something you stick around a bit longer to experience again..?