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Rowan13

Member
Jul 15, 2023
11
I chickened out at the last minute.
I had everything prepared and was ready to ctb, but as I was putting the rope around my neck, I just couldn't do it.
I'm not sure why; I've lost my service dog, my cats, and I'm most likely going to lose my freedom soon. I don't want to be here anymore, but for some reason I just can't leave.
 
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tinyghost

tinyghost

go home at dawn sleep in the sun
Sep 13, 2023
209
si is extremely hard to overcome. it doesnt make you a coward. we are hard wired to live at all costs. i hope that things get better for you 🙏
 
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wanttosleep

Member
Aug 8, 2023
36
That sucks I'm sorry. I failed recently as well and I know how hard it is no matter what is happening in your life to fight your own instincts to stay alive and cross that threshold to actively end your own life. I hope you find peace.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,478
It's just not straightforward to cease existing on our own terms after all. But anyway I wish you the best, I find it dreadful how it's this difficult to die.
 
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Y

Yaffle

Life’s a bitch
Nov 9, 2023
398
I chickened out at the last minute.
I had everything prepared and was ready to ctb, but as I was putting the rope around my neck, I just couldn't do it.
I'm not sure why; I've lost my service dog, my cats, and I'm most likely going to lose my freedom soon. I don't want to be here anymore, but for some reason I just can't leave.
I haven't yet attempted but know very well that SI will be an enormous problem for me.

If it's what you really want I hope you find the strength to overcome it.

For what it's worth I would find hanging one of the difficult methods to overcome SI.
 
RandomMacBeth

RandomMacBeth

Nada mais importa
Nov 8, 2023
22
I chickened out at the last minute.
I had everything prepared and was ready to ctb, but as I was putting the rope around my neck, I just couldn't do it.
I'm not sure why; I've lost my service dog, my cats, and I'm most likely going to lose my freedom soon. I don't want to be here anymore, but for some reason I just can't leave.
dont worry bro, the human survival instict is a normal thing, youre not the only one who did this.
 
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Some place nice

Some place nice

This world makes me sick
Oct 18, 2023
468
I'm so sorry that you're stilling having to suffer. SI is a horrible thing it doesn't matter how badly you want to die it will always be there. I hope you can find peace soon.
 
L

Lydia12

Member
Sep 10, 2023
41
I chickened out at the last minute.
I had everything prepared and was ready to ctb, but as I was putting the rope around my neck, I just couldn't do it.
I'm not sure why; I've lost my service dog, my cats, and I'm most likely going to lose my freedom soon. I don't want to be here anymore, but for some reason I just can't leave.
I'm very sorry for you. Did you take some drugs or medicine? Maybe some anti fear stuff can work f.e. Diazepam
 
Daughter of Sorrow

Daughter of Sorrow

Member
Nov 1, 2023
41
I'm not a psychologist, but I would say that it's not chickening out. You know that your life is not what you want it to be, with conditions that make you suffer and increase your misery, yet something in you tells you to keep going. I do not judge the people that end their life; I do not know their thoughts. However, I do think that there is bravery in waking up each day to fight a battle with your own mind and the world.

Some people cannot fight that battle anymore, which is understandable. I do not judge them a coward, but a warrior that fell in battle, doing their best.

In the end, you are the only one that can make the choice to CTB or not. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
 
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DEATH IS FREEDOM

DEATH IS FREEDOM

Death is the solution to unsolvable problems.
Sep 13, 2023
607
Many people have decided to die of suicide but then changed their mind when courage failed them. Hanging is a risky method. I would not choose that method. Death is the most terrifying thing we have to go through and therefore we should be able to die with the help of a doctor. The lack of human euthanasia is the greatest injustice in our societies.
 
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I

iwkmlol

Member
Nov 7, 2023
14
si is extremely hard to overcome. it doesnt make you a coward. we are hard wired to live at all costs. i hope that things get better for you 🙏
is there a thread on that by chance?
 

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