I failed to jump again

[DyingToDie123]

Spent part of last night at the suicide bridge in my town. For some reason I thought it could actually be the night where I could make the jump. I couldn't. There are a lot of factors why - being afraid of getting caught since it's such a busy bridge (I saw an ambulance slowly driving by toward the end which I suspect may have been for me), trouble getting over the barrier smoothly, a kinda terrifying lack of place to stand once I do get over the barrier such that I'm afraid I would fall before I'm ready and drop at the wrong angle and not have time to correct it, stupid SI. I don't know how to do it.

I'm so disappointed in myself. I see no other option but to kill myself but I can't even do that. What am I supposed to do? I'm out of viable methods, I'm so scared nothing's going to work and I'm just going to be stuck in this life. I'm ready to just take all my lithium and hope for the best even though I know that that's a painful and unreliable means.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I'm sorry you're suffering in this way. Bridge jumping is also a method I consider. It's a difficult method. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[iloverachel]

I am so sorry you are in so much pain my friend

 

[FuneralCry]

That method sounds terrifying to me personally, it's cruel to me how people cannot just have the option to reliably die in peace. But anyway best wishes, I really understand feeling so trapped in this existence.

 

[billie]

I wish dying was easy

 

[iloverachel]

I read some of your older posts, I am sorry you have suffered for so long and had so many failed attempts my friend

I hope you find peace some day

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you're so desperate and you see no other way but jumping. It's too cruel and SI is very high. Don't be too hard to yourself now. I hope you can find peace somehow.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I'm so sorry for all the suffering you're going through. I wish things were easier for all of us here...

I too am struggling with finally doing It. I have everything ready to go (inert gas method) and yet I'm still lingering on.

What am I supposed to do? I'm out of viable methods,

I don't think this is only about having a viable method... Even pushing a simple Button would be a hard thing to do.

 

[DyingToDie123]

I'm so sorry for all the suffering you're going through. I wish things were easier for all of us here...

Thank you

I too am struggling with finally doing It. I have everything ready to go (inert gas method) and yet I'm still lingering on.

I don't think this is only about having a viable method... Even pushing a simple Button would be a hard thing to do.

Ugh, I think you know this but I lingered on inert gas for so long. It's theoretically so quick and easy but the fact that even that was complicated for me says something. I hope you find peace too.

 

[Mi Mi]

Spent part of last night at the suicide bridge in my town. For some reason I thought it could actually be the night where I could make the jump. I couldn't. There are a lot of factors why - being afraid of getting caught since it's such a busy bridge (I saw an ambulance slowly driving by toward the end which I suspect may have been for me), trouble getting over the barrier smoothly, a kinda terrifying lack of place to stand once I do get over the barrier such that I'm afraid I would fall before I'm ready and drop at the wrong angle and not have time to correct it, stupid SI. I don't know how to do it.

I'm so disappointed in myself. I see no other option but to kill myself but I can't even do that. What am I supposed to do? I'm out of viable methods, I'm so scared nothing's going to work and I'm just going to be stuck in this life. I'm ready to just take all my lithium and hope for the best even though I know that that's a painful and unreliable means.

I hate this for you
I'm sorry
I'm considering jumping
But I have to go out of state
But the fear of failure is still there
We understand
Give yourself a break