Venting i dont want to make people be brothered by my presence anymore

[asifwaltz]

i just had a conversation with my mother that I've had many times, she tells me i love to procrastinate, that i love to blame everything on others, that i have to take control of my life, and shes completely right, and i dont know how to stop, everytime i speak to a health professional they tell me im doing "fine" but in reality im completely useless for society and i cant find a way to fix it ive tried the entirety of my life and i cant stop being a useless waste of space in my family, i wish i wasnt born like this. i dont wanna live in a hole anymore