Venting I dont want to live but im scared of dying

[suizsuicide]

Me, i want to die but im scares of what happens after, will i go to a place like hell, what if im unsuccessful and end up in a veggitive state or the people i care about commit suicide as a result of my death

Im tired of living with this pain, it would be better for me to end it quick before it gets worse and i have to live with my mental illness forever because its not curable.

Therapy and medication help me somewhat but i cant see it being a long term solution. Ill always end up right back at the start, having to crawl my way out of rock bottom only to fall back down after ive reached the top

Im scared of dying. Its the reason ive not done it yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering, trying to die going wrong and leading to worse agony is what I'd fear personally, I really wish there's the option to just fall into an eternal sleep. But anyway best wishes.

 

[suizsuicide]

I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering, trying to die going wrong and leading to worse agony is what I'd fear personally, I really wish there's the option to just fall into an eternal sleep. But anyway best wishes.

Something like self assisted suicide would make something like this so less difficult, and more safe too but until that would be legal every where we'll still have risky attempts. I not sure what would be harder for my family, having to cope with my death or having to deal with the after math of an attempt where im basically in a comatose state unable to move or communicate being a living vegetable having to rely on support for the rest of my days.

Thanks for the wishes, ditto .

 

[lupussucks224]

Being a loser and failure is scarier than death to me

 

[Raven2]

Yes I feel exactly the same way as you. I think I do believe in an afterlife though. Sometimes think life is hell then we go to heaven to be at peace.
The problem is we dont really know if there is anything after at all.

I'm scared to become brain damaged and to live in an even worse state than being able bodied now. I would not want to be a burden on anyone.

just want you to know your not alone in the way you feel.

 

[suizsuicide]

Yes I feel exactly the same way as you. I think I do believe in an afterlife though. Sometimes think life is hell then we go to heaven to be at peace.
The problem is we dont really know if there is anything after at all.

I'm scared to become brain damaged and to live in an even worse state than being able bodied now. I would not want to be a burden on anyone.

just want you to know your not alone in the way you feel.

Thank you! I grew up in a church that taught mental illness is a form of sin from satan or something and that made it very hard for me to get help. I really try not to worry, i quit going to church because of religious delusions (id hallucinate seeing angels and hear things telling my to harm myself or kill myself or else my family would be punished. I dont worship a god or anything, stuff like hell and being told im a sin really puts me off so i avoid it for my mental health. Im still trying to unlearn what religion has taught me. In a way i feel like ive been brainwashed. I hope there is something like a heaven after whether or not if god or anything is real. Ive done nothing wrong to deserve this suffering i have to keep believing in myself or else ill go crazy worrying.
I wouldnt wish this on anyone

 

[Raven2]

Thank you! I grew up in a church that taught mental illness is a form of sin from satan or something and that made it very hard for me to get help. I really try not to worry, i quit going to church because of religious delusions (id hallucinate seeing angels and hear things telling my to harm myself or kill myself or else my family would be punished. I dont worship a god or anything, stuff like hell and being told im a sin really puts me off so i avoid it for my mental health. Im still trying to unlearn what religion has taught me. In a way i feel like ive been brainwashed. I hope there is something like a heaven after whether or not if god or anything is real. Ive done nothing wrong to deserve this suffering i have to keep believing in myself or else ill go crazy worrying.
I wouldnt wish this on anyone

That must of been really awful. I'm sorry for your suffering.

 

[Eudaimonic]

I'm sorry that you're suffering.

I'm worried about what happens after death as well. That's the only thing holding me back other than not having the means, which will change eventually.

I don't want to be reincarnated. The Stevenson-Tucker CORT worry me even though there are alternate explanations (both conventional and paranormal). I've been reading about NDEs, and apart from the ~20% that are distressing, they are generally comforting (though I don't think they are veridical when it comes to an afterlife). I'm not (fully) a materialist, though I wish I were, eternal oblivion is what I want, not postmortem survival. I think monism--e.g., Bernardo Kastrup's--sounds peaceful. You'd lose your identity, but I don't know how you could suffer in such a state, not having an ego. I think impersonal survival is the most likely candidate for what happens after death other than eternal oblivion or reincarnation.

I do sometimes worry about my family committing suicide as a result of mine or otherwise being extremely hurt. Hopefully, if I leave a comforting note, and with sufficient time and therapy, if necessary, they will get over it.

The prospect of failure is indeed daunting. I plan to combine methods and use a highly reliable one.

Idk if any of that is helpful. Sorry if it isn't.

 

[FakeSmileGuy]

I relate to the fear of going you have too. Not really for religious reasons, I'm just scared of leaving my loved ones behind forever. I don't think I'll have to worry about failing, as I'll be using a gun, but I can't stand the thought of causing all this grief for everyone.

I also can't stand being a failure, I don't want to spend the rest of my days tortured like this.

 

[MarkSmith73]

Don't be. It's beautiful after you cross. Life is very hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me.

 

[divinemistress36]

Don't be. It's beautiful after you cross. Life is very hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me.

I love watching nde videos