i don't want to hurt my mom

[DrowningThoughts]

I am sad, I am tired. My mental illness involves having to deal frequently with depression and I cannot take it anymore. It hurts my mom, a lot. We are so fusional, I love her with all my soul and even if she doesn't tell me, I know it breaks her heart to see me suffering. I am so scared of leaving her. It became too hard for me to live, but I don't want to destroy her life forever.

I don't know what to do. Will she recover from it ?​

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

I have the same issue here. Everytime i think in my mon's reaction. Unfortunately, thats something that it will be very hard to recover. Just make sure to leave her a letter/video/audio emphasising that its not her faut and you really love her.
Where are you planning to CTB? In my case i will make sure that she doesnt see my body. I dont want to traumatize her even more.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I wish my family would start hating me, so I could leave guilt-free. But I don't really think that's a likely thing.

When I do go, I know I'll traumatize them beyond belief. As for whether or not they'll recover, I don't really know. If you've ever read accounts of people who've suffered from bereavement, you'll realize that everyone reacts differently. Some people never recover, some choose to CTB themselves as a way out and some eventually learn to live with the scars. I really hope that in my case, time will heal those wounds and I'll slowly fade from my family's memory, but the thought of any other worse alternatives haunts me every day.

 

[Guy Smiley]

I am sad, I am tired. My mental illness involves having to deal frequently with depression and I cannot take it anymore. It hurts my mom, a lot. We are so fusional, I love her with all my soul and even if she doesn't tell me, I know it breaks her heart to see me suffering. I am so scared of leaving her. It became too hard for me to live, but I don't want to destroy her life forever.

I don't know what to do. Will she recover from it ?​

I can relate to this so much. I could have written it myself. I think my mom (and my siblings) would be okay in the long run. They all know how much and for how long I've suffered, and I hope that, if I do CTB, knowing I'm no longer suffering will bring them some kind of relief.