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poofart

poofart

Member
Apr 28, 2023
22
I've been suicidal since I was a kid, and family has been aware since age 13/14. I don't think my suicide would surprise them, necessarily, but that wouldn't make it any less painful. I don't have anyone besides my family; they're the only reason I'm here. But I'm so, so tired. I want it all to be over with. If I still had access to a gun, I'd easily be gone by now. For now, though, I don't. I don't want to ruin the holidays for my family for the rest of their lives. I don't want them to have to go to therapy and mourn. But I don't see any other way. I'm going to end up ending it one day. It's only a matter of time. For that, I'm sorry.
 
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Reactions: mekurin, Vesiira, corazon and 2 others
Maeve

Maeve

The screaming never stops
Jul 17, 2023
127
I feel your pain.
The thought/image of my loved ones hurting haunt's me
 
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Reactions: Praestat_Mori
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,381
This is actually the big unsolvable problem all of us have. Death (whether natural/accident/CTB) causes grief for family and loved ones. Someone has to bear the pain, either we go on suffering in our lives or family grieves the loss.

It's a similar problem here.
 
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Reactions: Glandular
hibikikyuxx

hibikikyuxx

Student
Oct 17, 2023
192
Don't be sorry. You don't owe them anything. You didn't ask to be born, you were brought into this hellish planet against your will. With that being said, I get where you're coming from. If you have loved ones then of course you don't want them to be affected and hurt after you ctb. I get that. I don't have many loved ones where I live, they live in a different country, so I cope with that fact. At the end of the day, everyone will die one day regardless if it's now or a few years later. I wish that people realize that death is a natural part of life. Then again, logical thinking is thrown out of the window when it comes to the people we hold dear.
 
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Reactions: moya117

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