Every day is so hard I genuinely wish I could be happy and live life I don't think I actually want to do die. Whenever I'm about to ctb I get really emotional and think that I don't actually want to die yet I just wish that the pain would stop. I live in an assisted housing rn because my parents kicked me out when I was 18. I was addicted to opioids for a while but I've been sober for a year and I've never felt the same. My feel good chemicals are literally non existent I genuinely feel so bad mentally all the time. Plus physically it still feels like I'm in mild withdrawal I feel so fatigued all the time and have 0 energy. I'm genuinely so alone too I have no contact with family and all my old friends are still using drugs so I can't be around them or I will relapse. I'm an introvert I prefer to be alone but having like no contact with anyone 0 friends or social life is brutal on your mental state sometimes I just want someone to talk to about my problems. I hate my life so much and I don't see it getting better that's why i want to die but a part of me still wishes I could just be happy and live life like a normal person.
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nonliv
Member
- Aug 30, 2024
- 41
I feel this. I always think that if I was another person, if I could just switch bodies or erase my memories I would be happy. I'm so scared to die becouse I feel like my life could be diferent if I just wasn't me you know? I wish you the best and I hope you get better, I'm just glad there's people out there that feel similar
