Every day is so hard I genuinely wish I could be happy and live life I don't think I actually want to do die. Whenever I'm about to ctb I get really emotional and think that I don't actually want to die yet I just wish that the pain would stop. I live in an assisted housing rn because my parents kicked me out when I was 18. I was addicted to opioids for a while but I've been sober for a year and I've never felt the same. My feel good chemicals are literally non existent I genuinely feel so bad mentally all the time. Plus physically it still feels like I'm in mild withdrawal I feel so fatigued all the time and have 0 energy. I'm genuinely so alone too I have no contact with family and all my old friends are still using drugs so I can't be around them or I will relapse. I'm an introvert I prefer to be alone but having like no contact with anyone 0 friends or social life is brutal on your mental state sometimes I just want someone to talk to about my problems. I hate my life so much and I don't see it getting better that's why i want to die but a part of me still wishes I could just be happy and live life like a normal person.
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nonliv
Member
- Aug 30, 2024
- 44
I feel this. I always think that if I was another person, if I could just switch bodies or erase my memories I would be happy. I'm so scared to die becouse I feel like my life could be diferent if I just wasn't me you know? I wish you the best and I hope you get better, I'm just glad there's people out there that feel similarA difficult life might be made a little better if one could find something that gave even a brief boost.
Reading a favorite book, playing a favorite game, or watching a favorite movie can push back against gloom. It can also show that a life can be controlled in such a way as to increase that which satisfies.
As one begins to pick up positive momentum in life, one can make investment of self in others such that one's circle of friends begins to expand.
SASU-KE
Warlock
- Nov 26, 2025
- 758
I want to feel a bit happier again. I wouldn't want to die at all.
bl33ding_heart
Borderline
- Jun 24, 2025
- 586
byec560
Member
- May 11, 2026
- 45
I honestly don't understand when people say stuff like this. "I don't want to die. I just don't want to suffer." Toh-may-toh, toh-mah-toh. Like, yeah, if the circumstances of my life were completely different, then I wouldn't have SI. But they aren't, so I do.
Well if you have your documents and a cellphone plan and a cellphone and the willpower to wait along with some resources like a library (free shelter and free water and free energy) and a bag and some socks and shirts and a sleeping bag you can obviously move on. It's called getting employed. If you don't have those then you end up like me homeless and blackmailed by my family for my documentsSimilar threads
