I don’t see a future for myself that doesn’t end in suicide

[tapetum_lucidum]

No matter how I look at it , I never see things getting better . I'm keeping the suicidal thoughts at bay with sh but I'm running out of room to cut . I know I don't want to ctb before my cat dies but she only has a few years left , if that , she's 16 . My mom told me she's constantly terrified to coming home and finding me dead even though she said maybe death is the only way I can be happy . I feel so empty inside . I wish my life had gone differently . I had so much potential

 

[Jello Biafra]

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

Sometimes, what seems like world ending, insurmountable problems, turn out to be nothing later on.

Not saying this is your situation, as I feel exactly as you do. I lost the use of my fingers, the ability to walk, to drive, my business, everything, and my only family and best friend of 24 years (wife) - all within a year. So at 53yo, I feel like I have nothing left to live for except sitting around in a wheelchair all day.

Despite how bad my situation is, sometimes it makes me feel a tiny bit better when I think that there are people in this world who have it a lot worse off than me, For example, when I think about the fact that I'm now stuck in a wheelchair and can't go anywhere, I try and tell myself "well, at least I'm not completely paralyzed lying in a bed all day and can't move anything but my eyeballs" or something like that.

I don't know, I'm kind of weird like that. On the off chance that it might help you, I figured I'd give it a shot.

Wish you nothing but the best, and hope you can find peace in whatever you do.

 

[Alexandra_]

I'm so sorry to hear this. My life is also a real trial and disappointment. It's very sad that I was given this fate, where there isn't a single ray of light

 

[tapetum_lucidum]

I

Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

Sometimes, what seems like world ending, insurmountable problems, turn out to be nothing later on.

Not saying this is your situation, as I feel exactly as you do. I lost the use of my fingers, the ability to walk, to drive, my business, everything, and my only family and best friend of 24 years (wife) - all within a year. So at 53yo, I feel like I have nothing left to live for except sitting around in a wheelchair all day.

Despite how bad my situation is, sometimes it makes me feel a tiny bit better when I think that there are people in this world who have it a lot worse off than me, For example, when I think about the fact that I'm now stuck in a wheelchair and can't go anywhere, I try and tell myself "well, at least I'm not completely paralyzed lying in a bed all day and can't move anything but my eyeballs" or something like that.

I don't know, I'm kind of weird like that. On the off chance that it might help you, I figured I'd give it a shot.

Wish you nothing but the best, and hope you can find peace in whatever you do.

I turn 22 tomorrow