Venting I don’t know what to do

[moshimoshi]

So I overheard my mom and brother talking about how he doesn't want to do this air patrol thing he's doing for school anymore, and wants to focus on football and music instead (for context he's 13) he has like 3 extra curricular activities right now, and was expressing to my mom how it's too much for him. I'm really worried about him getting overwhelmed. My mom told him to have a heart to heart with my dad about it, but my dad and my grandparents can be kind of pressuring with that kind of stuff. For example my parents pretty much forced me to go visit family or go to events, etc. even when I didn't want to. So I'm worried if they won't let him follow his own choice. It's his choice of what he wants to do in his life so I will be very frustrated if they try to make him do things he doesn't want to. I'm not sure what to do, maybe I was thinking to text him, "I overheard your conversation with mom about not wanting to do civil air patrol stuff, it's your choice and I will back you up with whatever you decide to do" or would that be too invasive and too nosy of me? They had the conversation right outside of my bedroom door lol but I really don't know. I just want what's best for him but I'm not sure what to do

 

[Tesha]

If you have a good relationship with him, then there's no harm in trying to support his choices. Maybe you could help him think of how he phrases the conversation and put his argument together to convince Mum / Dad of his needs. What's the worst that could happen by messaging him?

 

[pollux]

That's ok.

It's important for him to communicate what he wants/doesn't want to do, especially at that age, but it can be a little hard on him too depending on how forceful your parents are. Saying you support him will probably ease him a little bit.

 

[damyon]

Worrying about it is okay; it shows how much you care about your brother.

~~~
I would start with an open question. (To not let the conversation seem like an interrogation or a projection, i.e., to avoid seeming "nosy") Maybe start by asking him how he's feeling about everything.
Just listen and see why he wants to do football and music.
You can support him by acknowledging his reasons (i.e., showing understanding) and letting him know you're there for him, no matter what he decides (as pollux noted, this will be very helpful in your brother's situation)
If you want to persuade him to pursue either (air patrol, football, music, or whatever you want him to do), you can allude to his own interest (the why of football and music).

Take care.

 

[jarik]

Non lo so nemmeno