Each day I switch between feeling completely nothing, and being desperate to die. I want to get better but my future just feels hopeless I dont know what to do.
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You might try an experiment with several small things like little indulgences or new activities that can break you out (even if only for a short time). This might help you discover things that you can control that also may make things a little brighter.
hang in there! I believe that there's hope for you. as timf said, breaking that cycle of going through life on autopilot can really help. put on your favourite song and dance in the bathroom, go for a drive with the windows down and your favourite playlist blasting, try picking up a new skill or hobby etc. I find that switching things up sometimes helps get one out of the mundane rut that everyday life can be sometimes. I wish you all the best, and remember that there is hope :) sending love your way <3
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