hoppybunny
Fearer of the Future
- Jun 26, 2024
- 352
I hate days like this. When I'm just hit with despair. I feel nothing will ever improve. It akways happens after i feel like things may get better then when there's no visible improvements i just lose hope again.
And i just have this loud voice in my head telling me nothing will improve and i should just die.
Bur i know I won't kill muself. So I just get stuck with the urge to buy a gun and shoot myself.
It's the only thing I can think about. It's not like what i want is anything huge. I just want a job that will let me live alone without destroying my body but apparently to everyone i say this too, i am asking for too much.
I just have to constantly compromise on everything. Suffer with my parents or get into a huge fight with them and move out without a "proper" job and live with strangers while destroying my body in a terrible job or join the military and hurt people while being verbally abused by superiors or just die. Those are my only options.
I wish I knew for sure there was no afterlife so i can end this already oh my God.
I hate how I'm feeling right now. I hate being angry and sad and depressed and just tired. I'm so exhausted everyday and i don't even do anything.
Why is life like this.
I feel humiliated even typing this out.
And i just have this loud voice in my head telling me nothing will improve and i should just die.
Bur i know I won't kill muself. So I just get stuck with the urge to buy a gun and shoot myself.
It's the only thing I can think about. It's not like what i want is anything huge. I just want a job that will let me live alone without destroying my body but apparently to everyone i say this too, i am asking for too much.
I just have to constantly compromise on everything. Suffer with my parents or get into a huge fight with them and move out without a "proper" job and live with strangers while destroying my body in a terrible job or join the military and hurt people while being verbally abused by superiors or just die. Those are my only options.
I wish I knew for sure there was no afterlife so i can end this already oh my God.
I hate how I'm feeling right now. I hate being angry and sad and depressed and just tired. I'm so exhausted everyday and i don't even do anything.
Why is life like this.
I feel humiliated even typing this out.
