Venting i don’t get why i can’t get N as an ugly, mentally ill woman

[ladyofsorrows]

Do you look anything like your avatar picture? That would be far from ugly, speaking as a man.

no, sadly :/

 

[Oreki]

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[DeathWish3301]

I'm sorry for the pain you're in. People do judge based on appearance. Physical attraction is relevant. It's superficial, but that's the way we're wired as humans.

That being said, @Roseate questioned how you know you're "ugly"? This is something to think about. If you have low self esteem or any issues relating to body dysmorphia, this could impact how you see yourself. Something to consider.

Just as an example, I've known many women who were absolutely stunning but they were bigger, objectively. They had low self esteem as a result. But there are so many dudes into women on the bigger side. Weight is simply preference, I've always preferred curvy women.

If it bothers you as much as it does, you could always post on "looks maxing" forums for suggestions on how to improve your appearance. The same looks and style work great for some, and not for others. This is true for both genders. Constructive criticism and feedback could be helpful.

 

[ladyofsorrows]

I'm sorry for the pain you're in. People do judge based on appearance. Physical attraction is relevant. It's superficial, but that's the way we're wired as humans.

That being said, @Roseate questioned how you know you're "ugly"? This is something to think about. If you have low self esteem or any issues relating to body dysmorphia, this could impact how you see yourself. Something to consider.

Just as an example, I've known many women who were absolutely stunning but they were bigger, objectively. They had low self esteem as a result. But there are so many dudes into women on the bigger side. Weight is simply preference, I've always preferred curvy women.

If it bothers you as much as it does, you could always post on "looks maxing" forums for suggestions on how to improve your appearance. The same looks and style work great for some, and not for others. This is true for both genders. Constructive criticism and feedback could be helpful.

i'm skinny so weight is not an issue. i already listed how i know i'm ugly. i've already tried looksmaxxing but it's pointless when you're genuinely, irreparably ugly. surgery can't save my face. i could get to like mid at best maybe. not to mention, i don't have the money for surgery anyway. and i have certain features that can't be fixed through surgery.

i even edited a photo of myself to see how i'd look if i got certain procedures done and the result was…underwhelming, to say the least. i was still ugly.

 

[DeathWish3301]

i'm skinny so weight is not an issue. i already listed how i know i'm ugly. i've already tried looksmaxxing but it's pointless when you're genuinely, irreparably ugly. surgery can't save my face. i could get to like mid at best maybe.

Sorry, I was trying to be helpful. I didn't want to blantly lie for the sake of comfort.

The majority of people of both genders are 'mid', that's what average is.

Surgeries are always an option, it is something. Apologies that I couldn't be of more assistance.

 

[DeathWish3301]

if you have money, yes. i don't.

Ok

 

[ladyofsorrows]

Ok

sorry if i came off rude, am just sleep deprived

 

[DeathWish3301]

sorry if i came off rude, am just sleep deprived

I appreciate the apology. Thank you.

 

[violetforever]

Do you look anything like your avatar picture? That would be far from ugly, speaking as a man.

thats lana del rey

 

[L'appel Du Vide]

The harsh simple answer is that it's not common enough for poor appearance and bullying to cause debilitating mental illness. And the way society plays out is through generalities or averages, not case by case basis where we are all treated individually. Average ugly folk are able to cope well enough to not seek death over it. The ones who also have more extreme problems are probably going to be sympathetic to the suffering but not understanding of your extent. The ones who don't struggle with it aren't going to get it often enough to form consensus that it is a terminal condition on a broader society-wide scale. That is what it usually takes for policies and social norms to support or accept the right to die. Folks tend to want it to either be something that was already going to kill you or totally unmanageable extreme suffering. I'm sympathetic and pro-choice but even I don't fully understand this viewpoint or conclusion. I would be so grateful if these were the only (or just the most pressing) reasons for me to want to end life.

 

[makebelieve]

So real.. i feel like any sort of self improvement doesn't matter since i'm still stuck in my ugly body and face..

 

[ladyofsorrows]

I would be so grateful if these were the only (or just the most pressing) reasons for me to want to end life.

oh i have other wonderful reasons lol. a bunch of amazing mental illnesses that make my life a living hell. one of them i even mentioned in this post; social anxiety so debilitating i can't even work. i can't even leave the house on my own.

you'd understand if you were ugly though (and i mean genuinely ugly/deformed like i am, not just slightly overweight or whatever). it negatively affects every single aspect of your life. it's absolutely a reason to want to ctb on its own, mental illness aside. i'd much, much rather be attractive and still keep my mental illnesses than be of perfectly sound mind and ugly. that's how bad it is. because as a woman, your looks and youth determine your whole worth as a human being.

 

[Daphne]

Idk I guess I just never seen it that way granted I wasn't bullied or anything but I've never really received attention but I don't think of myself as ugly and I'm pretty average but I wonder if it's like a lack of compliments? Cuz people bully pretty people all the time for their looks.. that's not enough cuz people pick on the pretty all the time.

Those gals have a lot of options in life but it's not as easy as it seems. I've had a few perfect 10 friends who hated being gawked at by men and bullied by jealous women. They were able to overcome that nuisance however by having surplus career and dating opportunities through influential men.
But then they'd get decision fatigue and that is stressful in a different way. They had too many options to choose from and have nervous breakdowns over that. Also, too much male attention could lead to possessiveness and stalking.
The grass wasn't always greener but I think their lives are definitely better than those of us with few or no options.

 

[Oreki]

oh i have other wonderful reasons lol. a bunch of amazing mental illnesses that make my life a living hell. one of them i even mentioned in this post; social anxiety so debilitating i can't even work. i can't even leave the house on my own.

you'd understand if you were ugly though (and i mean genuinely ugly/deformed like i am, not just slightly overweight or whatever). it negatively affects every single aspect of your life. it's absolutely a reason to want to ctb on its own, mental illness aside. i'd much, much rather be attractive and still keep my mental illnesses than be of perfectly sound mind and ugly. that's how bad it is. because as a woman, your looks and youth determine your whole worth as a human being.

Even if I could choose to be among the most attractive people in the world, it wouldn't mean anything to me. I would still feel deeply unhappy, because the problem isn't my appearance, it's the simulation I'm living in. Nonetheless, life wouldn't become more lovable to me.

I don't want my worth to be defined by my appearance, my productivity, my career success, or by having power over other people. I don't want any of that.

 

[ladyofsorrows]

Even if I could choose to be among the most attractive people in the world, it wouldn't mean anything to me. I would still feel deeply unhappy, because the problem isn't my appearance, it's the simulation I'm living in. Nonetheless, life wouldn't become more lovable to me.

I don't want my worth to be defined by my appearance, my productivity, my career success, or by having power over other people. I don't want any of that.

i totally get that. even if i was reborn as aphrodite herself, even if i was perfection incarnate, i'd still ctb at like 25-28. i don't see the point in living a long life, honestly. i'm an antinatalist/efilist, life just isn't appealing to me. but it'd def be more bearable if i were attractive.