caspertheghost
Hopeless Optimist
- Feb 10, 2026
- 2
I was sexually assaulted by my partner twice last week, broke up with them and have slowly been unraveling the fact that i was absolutely groomed by them while i was a minor and they were not (im 18 now but while i was 16 and 17) and cheated on by them aswell. Life has felt so numb yet so scary since. Every small mistake i make, every sound, makes me jump in terror like im being chased by a invisible monster. But in the same note life no longer has that joy and curiosity that it once did. I no longer feel driven to eat, sleep, clean.
Every mistake i make, every friend i accidentally upset makes me feel less and less deserving of living. I feel like a bad person and that im ungreatful for this life and im ungreatful for my friends. I feel like they deserve a better friend than me, that it would be better if i wasnt in the equation. Im too emotional, i cry even when im in the wrong, i put in too much effort into my friendships to the point my friends feel like their suffocating. Im not an angel.
I dont know, i just dont have that effort to be and live and survive anymore.
Every mistake i make, every friend i accidentally upset makes me feel less and less deserving of living. I feel like a bad person and that im ungreatful for this life and im ungreatful for my friends. I feel like they deserve a better friend than me, that it would be better if i wasnt in the equation. Im too emotional, i cry even when im in the wrong, i put in too much effort into my friendships to the point my friends feel like their suffocating. Im not an angel.
I dont know, i just dont have that effort to be and live and survive anymore.
