lonelysadman89
Member
- Oct 26, 2023
- 11
I (23M) was diagnosed 3 months ago with major depression since I used to have a lot of suicidal thoughts and I used to plan how I was gonna kms that even my psychiatrist told me it was a great idea to try getting into a psychiatric center, yet I decided not to. After that, my depression got worse when I tried another antidepressant (Spravato) and once again I was told it'd be a great idea to enter a psychiatric center by two new different psychiatrists. I've been experiencing depression ever since I have memory (around 4 yo i guess?) and I also suffer from epilepsy. I feel that my life is a misery but I constantly try to feel better by thinking that there's people in a worse situation than me... I mean it doesn't make me happy but it makes me feel that I should be grateful for not being in the complete shit although sometimes this way of thinking rarely makes me feel worse, however the main purpose of this thread is that even though I've been suffering from depression my whole life, there have been moments where I lose complete interest in the things I used to like (or just that made me feel distracted and forget this depression) but lately (~6 months) I'm so bored of everything! I don't want to do anything and my suicidal thoughts have stopped about a month ago. They were constant, the whole day every day and now they're still there but sometimes it's like once every week and not the whole day, just whenever I feel very stressed with college. My question is... how do you all get new hobbies or start liking your previous hobbies? Whenever someone asks me what I do in my free time I don't even know how to answer because it's mostly being in my bed and that's misery to be honest and none of you won't say it's not because it actually is! I just sleep and stay in bed while watching something during my whole freaking day and these days I have more free time since my university told me to stay in house for the recovery of my mental health (which got worse because I'm taking my classes online). I don't have friends and I never get to see people because I never hang out yet the only way I used to see people was going to the university, even if they weren't my friends or classmates it helped me to get distracted! Also my depression got worse 2 years ago because my mother passed away and everything reminds me of her. The first 6 months I used to cry because I missed her a lot but now I can't cry, I just feel the emotion but I can't cry and it's so overwhelming.
I went through a lot of topics.
tldr; how to get back to enjoying your hobbies? have you ever felt like you can't cry but you feel very sad (deeply sad)? I really hope I'm not the only one but at the same time I hope I'm the only one since it feels TERRIBLE.
I went through a lot of topics.
tldr; how to get back to enjoying your hobbies? have you ever felt like you can't cry but you feel very sad (deeply sad)? I really hope I'm not the only one but at the same time I hope I'm the only one since it feels TERRIBLE.