Venting i don't even feel that miserable, yet i wish someone would drive me to end it all

[excitingly_ctbidal]

title i suppose

i don't think i even feel that bad right now, but i still wish someone would just drive me to ctb. i feel awful for wanting to feel awful. i don't even have the energy to type my thoughts out... this is all so exhausting sometimes

 

[excitingly_ctbidal]

why do you want to feel awful? genuinely curious.

i don't even know, really. that's why it makes me feel so guilty sometimes. i could enjoy a happy life, probably. but at the slightest of inconveniences i eventually end up driving myself to feeling miserable. it's like i'd like to get more suicidal. maybe i just want attention so people could take me more seriously, but i also really don't want to worry the people i love the most. or maybe i do? i kind of want to get worse i suppose. frankly, that's kind of why i came back

 

[jodes2]

The best way to get attacked on this forum is by giving hope to everyone you'll be made to feel like shit in no time

 

[etherealgoddess]

title i suppose

i don't think i even feel that bad right now, but i still wish someone would just drive me to ctb. i feel awful for wanting to feel awful. i don't even have the energy to type my thoughts out... this is all so exhausting sometimes

You probably have a lot of things that are underneath the surface. Anything that you care about--anything you even care enough to think about--that emotionally impacts you and makes you feel the way that you're feeling. You just feel numb and exhausted from those emotions underneath the surface.