Venting I don’t care anymore

[woodlandcreature]

There's so much I really should do, honestly. I have things I need to give back. So so many things need to be finished. I could make things so much easier for people after I'm gone, but I simply can't care anymore. I can't even clean my room. I can't get out of bed in the morning. I tried to care for so long. I'm so tired.
I fear I'm a terrible person for it, but I've been trying to be at least decent while surrounded by evil people my whole life. I've never gotten anything good out of being kind. I didn't really do it to. I just wanted to keep people from ending up like me, but it just lead to more pain. More suffering. That's all life is, isn't it? Learning your own specific brand of suffering. I'm so tired. All I care about is finding eternal rest as quickly, accessibly, and reliably as I can. I'm too weak and sensitive to be alive. I don't want to try anymore I've been trying my whole life. Too pathetic to exist.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel exactly the same.

 

[yzzzy]

Me too. Just can't hold it anymore. I'm done. I feel same. ...

 

[always_a_crossroads]

For whatever it's worth, you don't sound pathetic to me. You sound honest, and like you were dealt a crappy hand. You didn't ask for this, you were handed a brain that can't be happy in your situation, and a situation that makes your brain unhappy and unmotivated.
I relate. Everything takes energy, and I'm tired of forcing myself to do things, even when I know it'd be good to do them.
Wishing you a little bit of comfort, if that's feasible.

 

[woodlandcreature]

Wishing you a little bit of comfort, if that's feasible.

Thank you - wishing you some comfort as well.