Venting I don’t belong in this world

[BlueButterfly111]

I think it's just time for me to go, my time on this Earth is almost over. I'm just so tired of feeling nothing but pain all the time, I'm so tired of being alone and having no one, I miss my dead boyfriend so much. I know I need to just go ahead and get this over with. My Birthday is coming up in 4 days, on the 8th. I just want to have one more Birthday and then I think I can just be done. I find some kind of comfort in believing I might be with him again, even if it sounds like a ridiculous idea, I just want to be with him again. I'm starting to think that maybe both of us were meant to be together before the end of our short lives. I don't think there's much more here for me on this Earth, I've tried but can't find another reason. Had a dream about him again this morning and woke up crying, I hope I can find him again. I don't belong here.

My Birthday is in 4 days, so I think probably sometime after my Birthday but before the Holidays would be a good idea. I just don't want to go through another painful and lonely Holiday. I've had enough, I'm so lonely. I'm scared but I just need to go. My Birthdays are usually always unreasonably horrible and miserable, so I'm hoping that will give me more motivation to do it. I'm so sad.

I feel like it's really gonna be over soon. Thank you guys for being with me on this journey, I'm so glad I've had this website. It makes me feel like I'm not gonna go alone and I'll be safe when I go, idk if that makes sense. The kind words that people have said to me here especially regarding my boyfriend have been more kind and supportive then anyone ever said to me in person. I think I will try to keep you guys updated on what happens if I go through with it. I'm reaching my breaking point.

 

[Broken@25]

I have been having that feeling for the better part of a year. Im accepting it now and starting to feel free. I wish you the best luck and peace no matter what you feel.

 

[martyrdom]

I sincerely hope you find peace and can see your love again, whenever you do go, whether that is soon or several decades from now. Your post gave me a moment of pause realizing I'll cause the same pain to my girlfriend when I do go, but it ultimately doesn't matter. I don't belong here either, probably none of us do. Try to enjoy, on whatever level is possible, the coming days, whether they are your last or not.