Venting I disgust myself

[deletedaccount30982]

I hate who I am. I hate how I act. I hate how I come off. My temper is unbelievably short anymore. I've never been an angry or spiteful person but that's all I seem to be anymore. My head is clouded and it's hard to keep my thoughts straight. I can never seem to make my points very clear anymore. Which only makes me more angry because my conversations are being misconstrued because I can't explain things the way I'd like to. I hurt people. I lie. I do disgusting things to myself when I self harm. I am scum. A bad person. A joke. And I'm disgusting for how much I sit here and wallow in self disgust. I hate myself.

 

[A Dream of a Dream]

From what you write and share, I can say without hesitation you are not any of those things.
But you are under an inordinate amount of stress, mind and body.

 

[-Link-]

I wish there was something I could say or do that would take away your pain, or at least alleviate it even in the slightest.

@willitpass I do understand you and very much appreciate your presence here. I'd offer you a real hug if I could, but all I have is this virtual one instead.