Venting I died without dying after failing

[microwaved_dawg]

I couldn't CTB and I'm now facing some very very big consequences.

I've lost everyone I ever cared about, I lost all of my friends and my girlfriend in one night. Everyone around me just became bitter and no one wants to even fucking see me.

When I tried to CTB and failed I couldn't have imagined it would only get worse from there. I want to try again but now it's more difficult than ever with everyone weary of me trying something.

I'm just dead to people, I'm still here but dead in their minds. Kind of reverse CTB all the loneliness with no relief haha.

How can I get back up?, I don't really know where to start and reconnecting with the people I lost is out the question.

 

[yellowsouled]

Folks on the Recovery forum here may be more helpful in this endeavor, friend. :]

 

[microwaved_dawg]

Thanks a lot, I'll post it there

 

[TheHolySword]

I understand your pain. I destroyed everything because I knew I was going to CTB. I regret my actions, if I fail there's no going back. There's no fixing anything. I'm still planning to CTB but I'm terrified if I don't succeed. I don't know how to continue after everything, I won't want to.

This is just my story though. If you want to recover please seek assistance in recovery. There are options, I can't promise that it will get better but I do believe that it can. I'm wishing you all the best, I hope you are able to find what you're looking for.

 

[microwaved_dawg]

I understand your pain. I destroyed everything because I knew I was going to CTB. I regret my actions, if I fail there's no going back. There's no fixing anything. I'm still planning to CTB but I'm terrified if I don't succeed. I don't know how to continue after everything, I won't want to.

This is just my story though. If you want to recover please seek assistance in recovery. There are options, I can't promise that it will get better but I do believe that it can. I'm wishing you all the best, I hope you are able to find what you're looking for.

You should seek therapy, I just wish I hadn't been pushed to my decision all because of unresolved issues I have. Maybe it could all have gone different if I had gotten help earlier. Just my two cents tho, thank you.