I thought I would feel pressure or get scared once I set the date, actually I feel calm and indifferent about it all. Part of it is the fact that I have really thought through this and have come to the realization that I have lived enough life and there is nothing left to live for. I have neither the energy nor the motivation to keep going in life, so I am finalizing my preparations, writing the letters and cancelling subscriptions.
My ctb day falls on a Saturday and I usually go play soccer Saturday morning, so I intend to go play soccer that morning, keep everything normal, no reason to make my departure a big deal or be anxious or scared, I have suffered enough anxiety, hopelessness, and despair in my lifetime that there is no way in hell I will let them steal my calm on my last day.
My ctb day falls on a Saturday and I usually go play soccer Saturday morning, so I intend to go play soccer that morning, keep everything normal, no reason to make my departure a big deal or be anxious or scared, I have suffered enough anxiety, hopelessness, and despair in my lifetime that there is no way in hell I will let them steal my calm on my last day.
