I cant think anymore there is no point in going on

[breadMan]

I had a weed induced panick attack 3 months back, and ever since then I have not been able to think. I am constantly shaking. My brains feels fried. I cant recall anything from before. I feel like i lost every thing i was suppose to learn the last 4 years of uni/ work. With my brain being in this state i really did not see a future for my self. I cant cry (i dont remember when i cried last) I have been trying to CTB for a few weeks now. This sunday i was suppose to end it by jumping off a bridge. I went there, stood for 20 mins, then pussied out and did not go through with it. I regret it. I have been trying to do partial hanging for the past few days but i cant seem to get the setup correct to pass out. I tried ligature strangulation and that did not work. Tomorrow i have to go to work with all these rope marks on my neck and hope no one notices. I will try partial again and hope to got it works. I really want to end it today I really do. sorry if this post seems incohorent, my brain cant focus on a task.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, I also just wish to be free from it all, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.