I cant seem to die and i hate it

[onyx559]

I've been trying to kill myself since the fifth grade. I am now 27 years old and I hate it. I've tried everything from pills all the way to jumping in front of a train and I can't seem to die. I thought to myself if a train can't even kill me that I need to at least try to live life and make a plan for myself. So I started that last month and then two weeks ago I get laid off from my job and I get into a car accident (IN THE SAME WEEK) that wasn't my fault and now everything is going to shit. I have absolutely nobody to talk to so I planned on shooting myself today. But I guess someone saw the signs throughout the week and took the gun out of the safe. My backup plan is to hang myself tonight, but I don't even think that will work. I am so hopeless that I don't even trust that I could kill myself and I want nothing more than to just die.

I don't know if this is a cry for help for someone to save me or I just want to feel heard be seen, but I feel like I just need to get this out.

 

[telekon]

I've been trying to kill myself since the fifth grade. I am now 27 years old and I hate it. I've tried everything from pills all the way to jumping in front of a train and I can't seem to die. I thought to myself if a train can't even kill me that I need to at least try to live life and make a plan for myself. So I started that last month and then two weeks ago I get laid off from my job and I get into a car accident (IN THE SAME WEEK) that wasn't my fault and now everything is going to shit. I have absolutely nobody to talk to so I planned on shooting myself today. But I guess someone saw the signs throughout the week and took the gun out of the safe. My backup plan is to hang myself tonight, but I don't even think that will work. I am so hopeless that I don't even trust that I could kill myself and I want nothing more than to just die.

I don't know if this is a cry for help for someone to save me or I just want to feel heard be seen, but I feel like I just need to get this out.

i am really sorry to hear that all happened. it feels like the world is crumbling under our feet. at least that is how i feel personally.

it just sucks when things pile up and bad things happen close together. i hope things will get better soon for everyone here and we can find stable jobs.

 

[_Gollum_]

That's awful, I'm sorry :\ I find it so injust how we live in a world where people who want nothing more than to live die, and people who want nothing more than to die live. If only we could donate our lives to someone who actually wants it.