I can't relax. I feel restless and afraid.

[binkleshpoo]

My method of choice hasn't even arrived yet, and yet the finality of my decision is sinking in. I am so scared, but I cannot continue in a world so horrible. Trans people are being told their social security info "does not exist." ICE is kidnapping children. I'm hispanic and if I didn't care so much about my parents approval, I would be on hormones. I hardly even count as transgender because I am too much of a fucking coward to do something that would make me happy, because I care too much about what Mommy and Daddy thinks. I am a fraud to my own people. I live with my mom and dad, I don't have to, but that doesn't exactly go well with the fact that I'd rather die than be an adult.

This world is so evil. Every time I look at my phone, it's something new. They want everyone that isn't them to suffer. I cannot take it anymore. That's why I have to leave. I will never be able to do enough to help others because I am on my last legs. I am completely alone and self isolating for no reason, and I have no one to comfort me....I feel so unsafe. I feel so afraid. But I have to do this. I can't be honest because my friends will get fucking scared.

I told myself I will give myself two months, my stuff isn't here yet, and I'm already a mess. I just wish I could fall asleep and not wake up and not have to do it myself. I'm sorry I'm posting so much. I am alone because I am forcing myself to be, and I am so afraid. I feel comforted by nothing. I am really going to die. I need to do this, I can't continue in this sick world, but I can't believe it. I keep crying.

I don't think I will be able to enjoy my last months on this earth.

 

[madameviolette]

I'm so sorry I totally agree with what you said. This world is cruel.

Why is ICE kidnapping kids ?

 

[binkleshpoo]

I'm so sorry I totally agree with what you said. This world is cruel.

Why is ICE kidnapping kids ?

I haven't fully read up on it because I just cant stomach it anymore. I think there was an incident of them using a boy as "human bait" for the family. A two year old girl got detained in Minnesota and she was sent to Texas. Even though I think this is irrelevant, because no person is "illegal" and I don't think people who have done nothing deserve to have their lives uprooted by deportation, considering her age I am sure she has birthright citizenship and was born in America. It is just so unlawful. I don't understand this world.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I'm so sorry I totally agree with what you said. This world is cruel.

Why is ICE kidnapping kids ?

Because they're fucking insane.