i can’t make a decision

[bunintherug]

i can't decide. DID is making it so hard to decide. i'm thinking about going into a psych ward for a bit to stabilize my bpd before i make a decision about it. i've been to the hospital so many times, i know what to say to have them let me out when i want to. is this a bad idea? idek. i just need to stop being so unsure about this. if im going to ctb, i need to do it soon before people start to catch on that im giving up, and stop me

 

[MrFreshTheCat]

Don't feel in a hurry to make such an important decision, if you feel like you need to stabilize just do it, it may help you figure out what you really want or at least help you get some inner peace before you ctb

 

[wljourney]

If checking in to a clinic for a few days gives you space and time to think then do that.

It can't hurt and it's always better to make the decision to CTB from a calm, quiet place and not out of a crisis.

Get grounded and wait until you are ready to make more rational decisions. You may still want to CTB but it won't be so stressful and you'll have a better idea if this is really what you want.

 

[dustyrainbow]

If your unsure, then a lot more mistakes can happen during CTB.
Even if it's for the sake of "If I do it, I need to succeed"; try to get some time for yourself. It may be the last decision.

And spoken for the DID part: I have a form of dissociation with alters BUT not separated, so I'm still the same person, share the memories etc. I just have different versions of myself and switch (mostly uncontrollable) between them.
But what I know is, if I try to just decide for us all; there're always parts who strictly are against it and try everything to sabotage it.

So no matter what you do - try to find some consent? Or at least to listen to their needs. Not that you HAVE to come to a conclusion for everyone. But it can also help finding out what to do next.

And bpd sucks - I had multiple impulsive attempts. Would not recommend. So if you see a chance to stabilise that a bit - take it.
And I mean; as you said you can always talk yourself out of that situation and how would they know that you're still doing bad if you convinced them you're fine?

And if it helps and you decide to not CTB: that's valid and great as well!
Because ... You're doing better then, right?

Don't rush through that process.

 

[Angel of Spades]

I have to agree with everyone else. Take the time to think it through in a more calm environment. At least allow your thoughts to settle and give yourself some time to really think about what decision to make. Don't rush it! This is a big decision, so give yourself the chance to really think it over :)