Venting I can't help but feel hateful

[bountifulmaple]

I have a drinking problem and a wife of 5 years. She was very unhappy about this. I learned that she went on a week-long holiday with another man and was contacting a lawyer about a divorce and selling stuff behind my back. It felt like a thousand daggers in my heart at once. To add insult to injury, our dog (basically like a kid) got very injured and had one of its eyes removed (and second under question) while she was on this holiday. I simply don't understand why one just wouldn't tell your long-time partner - I would still feel about the same, but at least I hadn't been lied to so blatantly. I'm pulling my hair out trying not to screw her life - the lease is in my name, a property we have in another country, bank accounts as well. I'm trying so hard not to do any of that, but I do talk shit in PMs at least. I tried the partial hanging thing a few times, but failed miserably. Researched other stuff, but they're unfeasible, and I can't for the life of me to talk in front of a train or jump from somewhere high enough. Today, I put my shit on sale with the intention to move far away, and it feels like the end of my life as I know it.

 

[never mind me]

I can imagine that your wife fears your reaction and therefore is afraid to tell you how she feels and tries to organise things for herself first before telling you she doesn't want to be with you anymore. And I can very much relate. As I was or still am in a similar situation like your wife. Although my boy-friend and I are not married and don't live together I depended on him until recently, because I had some stuff at his place while I travelled and when coming back I also stayed at his place for a couple of weeks. And despite not being happy with our relationsship because of his excessive drinking and amphetamine consumption I didn't say anything until now for fear of suddenly not knowing where to put my stuff.
So the best thing might be to get your drinking problem fixed even if it might be too late to get your wife back at this point. Your drinking is certainly not helping you solving your issues with your wife, nor will it help you to move on with life. Maybe moving can help you get a fresh start, but you probably still need to learn healthier coping mechanisms than drinking.

 

[bountifulmaple]

I can imagine that your wife fears your reaction and therefore is afraid to tell you how she feels and tries to organise things for herself first before telling you she doesn't want to be with you anymore. And I can very much relate. As I was or still am in a similar situation like your wife. Although my boy-friend and I are not married and don't live together I depended on him until recently, because I had some stuff at his place while I travelled and when coming back I also stayed at his place for a couple of weeks. And despite not being happy with our relationsship because of his excessive drinking and amphetamine consumption I didn't say anything until now for fear of suddenly not knowing where to put my stuff.
So the best thing might be to get your drinking problem fixed even if it might be too late to get your wife back at this point. Your drinking is certainly not helping you solving your issues with your wife, nor will it help you to move on with life. Maybe moving can help you get a fresh start, but you probably still need to learn healthier coping mechanisms than drinking.

Thanks for your reply.