i can’t function anymore. (vent)

[ctemourge]

ive been in so much pain and angish lately and it doesnt seem to stop. im not sleeping im not eating, my breathing has been so weird. almost like manual breathing in a way. i cant work more than 3 hours without having a panic attack, i feel so alone. my boyfriend moved countries away & is a 6 hr time difference so now i have nobody. well besides this website which i am so thankful for. i just dont know what to do anymore. i want to get my hands on some SN but i have around $300 saved because i get manic and blow it all. cant even smoke weed anymore without it making me more anxious. i have no relief. went to the er (stupidly) to try and get help & boy was i wrong. shoved me with a prescription of xanax and said "go see ur psychiatrist." tired of being tossed around the healthcare system & finding no relief.
sorry for the vent i just have nobody to talk to and needed to talk. hope everyone has some peace today and doesnt feel like i do

 

[sugarh1gh]

Thanks for sharing. My boyfriend suddenly left me out of nowhere and wanted to have a break up. We planned to move together, but he just left me. Which triggered me mostly, and he is saying that nobody in the world needs a person always on their side. It hurt me because I really needed someone to be on my side.

Whatever happens, I hope you achieve what you want to achieve, whether it's the ticket or life.

 

[ctemourge]

i completely understand how you feel :-( i hope things end up okay for us both

 

[ferrie]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much and that attempting to get help didn't go well. I can definitely relate on some points as I went through a breakup & mental health issues that ruined my relationships & have felt very alone since. I've had similar experiences with doctors too. It's heartbreaking to reach out like that & basically get shoved away bc the healthcare system is so terrible. I hope you can find some peace!

 

[ctemourge]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much and that attempting to get help didn't go well. I can definitely relate on some points as I went through a breakup & mental health issues that ruined my relationships & have felt very alone since. I've had similar experiences with doctors too. It's heartbreaking to reach out like that & basically get shoved away bc the healthcare system is so terrible. I hope you can find some peace!

thank you ♡ im sorry that youve had a similar experience. also love your username!

 

[ferrie]

thank you ♡ im sorry that youve had a similar experience. also love your username!

Thank you!!

 

[losersclub]

Hey, I defiently get it. This past couple of weeks, I've been struggling mentally, my grades have been dropping, my relationships with people have been suffering, and Im having about 2-3 panic attacks per day. I tried attempting but failed. I want to say however, you are not alone. We are all more similar than we might think. Everyone struggles, but stay strong! Life will bring you peace soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really tiring and dreadful what you've been through, it's cruel how people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry to hear about all the pain you've been going through :( I got SN for like $35 from the Ukrainian source back when that was still a thing~ ofc, as you say, you are manic and could throw it away which would be bad if you throw away and then, long to be gone again~ my bf also lives 6 time zones away~ :((( It's atrocious, but I'm obsessed with him, so I deal with it~ make sure to text him all the time because it will make you feel much better! ^_^ you love him for a reason after all! :D

 

[ctemourge]

thank you all for the kind replies ♡
you all make me feel seen and heard and that helps alot. hope u all find peace as well. it seems thats the goal we all want to achieve

 

[ecliptic]

I can't function anymore as well.