I'm depressed for sure. But I think it's more than that. I don't love myself so how can I feel love from others? I think it's called emotional dependency. Where I'm looking outwardly for love and validation instead of having it within myself. I also think I have BPD which ties into the emotional dependency idea.
I'm about to lose my girlfriend, my home, my dog. Because she can't keep on trying to love me when I don't even love myself. She's given me EVERYTHING. I don't blame her. It just makes me so sad. I want to love and feel love but I just can't. It makes me want to CTB.