true-ending
had we met under better circumstances...
- Mar 27, 2023
- 63
during november 2023 i was forced to watch my mother attempt suicide [again, dramatic phrasing,i only witnessed it for 30 seocnds or so before i ran away, its just really hard to describe because i struggle with remembering it properly] andnow every time i even get close to trying to kill myself istart having horrible flashbacks that make me shake. a lot of the time when my memories get really bad i cant lookat my hands without feeling super small and weak like im some sorta prey animal. ihavent run into a single person who even has remotely similar trauma and i dont know how to cope. every day i feel like im just waiting for something horrible to happen again andi cant do anything to protect myself. im terrified. i just want to die in peace but even that was taken from me that day
