I cant die

[unabletocope]

I want to but I cant. I can't bring myself to make am attempt. I don't think I've got what I need to make an attempt. I'm not sure what method would work. I'm not sure I have got what it takes to take SN. Please help, I don't want assistance to die but I need help.

 

[Light_]

You just have to commit to it, the ACT and let it be done. The voices in your head trying to stop you can't physically stop you they're just voices. You have to be in control of your actions. God help us all.

 

[unabletocope]

I know, I'm struggling to just do it and be done. I'm finding it hard to direct myself towards it. Not eating for days to prepare for metoclopramide and SN. I just don't know how to hit that kind of focus. How to shut down and say to myself 'I can't do this now'. How to commit, how to dedicate myself to this. There is just so much to do. So much to work on. It's like my head, I need to direct it so strongly to this that it's almost like fixation, I have to be fixated on it to see it through, I'm struggling to do that.

 

[LaughingGoat]

In my opinion, struggling to make an attempt at all isn't pure SI as much as still haven't a connection to life in some sense. I don't see it as something someone needs to force themselves to commit to, as much as figuring out where that connection still lies and making the choice to either pursue working towards that connection and what it is they want from life or turning away from it completely. There's no right or wrong decision, plenty of people decide to keep living and end up happy while other's make peace and internalize their decision to end their suffering.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Is it possible that you really don't want to die, but would rather pursue help in the form of therapy to work out any issues pushing you towards ctb? It's no crime to feel the need to ctb. Likewise, it's no crime to not want to ctb and instead become well.

 

[Caliguy]

I feel you I'm in the same boat, it seems like most people seem to prefer SN as a method but it's such a commitment of time and needs to be carefully planned in order for it to work.