Im at my lowest right now,i plan to ctb in the upcoming months/weeks using sn.
Im not scared im totally fine with dying yesterday i fell down of my motorcycle and hit my head and i fainted
my vision blurred slowly and my hands were jerky i couldnt talk and i wasnt scared.
i liked it i was actually kinda happy,like "is it really happening thats it "
then i woke up 5 mins later without nothing bad ..
My parents don t take my problems serious i ve been having sleep problems and severe social anxiety since i was little.
Till i turned 15ish i couldnt even order at mcdolands by myself because i would start stuttering and start sweating and id lose my voice and i had to tell my friends to do it and i had to make excuses like "can you order for me?my mom is calling me" or stuff like that
Im done i dont want help anymore..im alone my girlfriend of 5yaers broke up with me because i have communication issue..and i do i dont really blame her i just blame myself because i cant deal with it anymore i cant.
I dont want help i want to die i want to end this suffering
But at the same time i want to go to a psychiatrist and ask for help and tell everything just cry my soul out,i have nobody to talk to im so lonely i ve done so many wrongs to my loved ones and they did so much wrong to me.
I ve never ever had anyone to talk to,my parents dont listen to me..i cant talk to any of my "friends" about this.My ex would listen to me daily..she was the only one i had courage to open up to..how did i manage to fuck things up?.
I cant wait to save up buy sn and end it
Im not scared im totally fine with dying yesterday i fell down of my motorcycle and hit my head and i fainted
my vision blurred slowly and my hands were jerky i couldnt talk and i wasnt scared.
i liked it i was actually kinda happy,like "is it really happening thats it "
then i woke up 5 mins later without nothing bad ..
My parents don t take my problems serious i ve been having sleep problems and severe social anxiety since i was little.
Till i turned 15ish i couldnt even order at mcdolands by myself because i would start stuttering and start sweating and id lose my voice and i had to tell my friends to do it and i had to make excuses like "can you order for me?my mom is calling me" or stuff like that
Im done i dont want help anymore..im alone my girlfriend of 5yaers broke up with me because i have communication issue..and i do i dont really blame her i just blame myself because i cant deal with it anymore i cant.
I dont want help i want to die i want to end this suffering
But at the same time i want to go to a psychiatrist and ask for help and tell everything just cry my soul out,i have nobody to talk to im so lonely i ve done so many wrongs to my loved ones and they did so much wrong to me.
I ve never ever had anyone to talk to,my parents dont listen to me..i cant talk to any of my "friends" about this.My ex would listen to me daily..she was the only one i had courage to open up to..how did i manage to fuck things up?.
I cant wait to save up buy sn and end it
