IHurtTheOneILove

IHurtTheOneILove

Experienced
Dec 16, 2023
206
After chit-chatting with a few people on here I've come to the realization that I can't CTB. It's unfair to do that to my ex who I already traumatized by cheating on them, imagine if they now had to deal with my death. I can't traumatize my ex for my own hurtful mistakes. I believe I'm not a bad person, probably not good, but definitely not bad.

Everyone here has been very helpful with my situation and I appreciate everyone for their advice (whether it be bashing and calling me a shitty person or bafflingly saying my ex deserved it). I'm going to give life a chance for now, if not for me, at least so I don't permanently ruin my ex's life. I may come back in the future to post more but most likely it'll be in recovery if anything. For now, I'm done posting on the suicide section as it's not healthy for me to constantly be telling myself I deserve to die. Even if some part of me believes it's true I can't do this to the people still in my life.

I'm currently on some sort of personal redemption arc I suppose lol. I did something shitty and fucked up but I have to let the dust settle to see how I want to continue on with living. If I make no progress in the following years then I'll know I'm doomed to be a shitty person but for now there's still hope I think. Thank you everybody <3 Goodbye for now SA-SU!
 
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