theguineapigking
Useless piece of trash
- Dec 5, 2019
- 593
I know this is a necro'd thread, but I'll take a crack at your question because I think it's an important one and I've seen it come up many times.
A common thread among the suicidally depressed is social isolation, whatever the reason. Many of us feel very alone and haven't felt loved in years or decades.
I don't mean to be too reductive, but there are some are gender based differences in how we approach sex. I've heard it said that men need sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to have sex. I know that's a very broad generalization, individual variation outweighs any stereotype, not all men/women, not all the time etc, but I do think there's a kernel of truth there. Most men I know don't need to do much to get "in the mood" for sex.
I think it's a simple human desire to want to feel loved one last time before checking out after a lifetime of pain. I know that many may find that a foreign concept, disgusting, or even exploitative. Disclaimer: I don't condone assault, deception, preying on the vulnerable or any such disgusting behaviors outside of two fully consenting adults.
I imagine wanting sex at a time like this is hard to relate to for many women, particularly survivors, but that's where I personally believe it comes from. Despite the dehumanizing stereotype, so common it's even stated within this thread, that men don't care at all about a connection and are emotionless robots, we are actually human beings with feelings too. Clinically getting ourselves off or paying someone will never be the same as being with someone who actually cares. Does that make it a stretch as a goal at a time in our lives like this, in a place like this? Yeah, definitely, and I understand the discomfort it can cause to people who have suffered trauma, are fearful etc, but none of that will stop people from wanting to feel less alone.
I think we should all try to have compassion for each other, and that goes both ways, even if we can't personally relate.
