I cannot deal with this loneliness anymore

[endeledestein]

I dont know what to do... Loneliness is killing me... This is agony...

Nobody wants me...

 

[Joarga]

No sé qué hacer... La soledad me está matando... Esto es una agonía...

Nadie me quiere...

¿Tienes mascotas?
El amor de un perro o gato puede hacerte sentir querido
Yo nunca he tenido novia, sólo animales

 

[lumibon]

It's a complete slow agony and a repetitive cycle of hopelessness, I know exactly how you feel. We humans need someone or something to anchor ourselves to so that we can feel enough stability, and it's incredibly sad that not everyone has that.

 

[Yurak Hunt]

go on reddit in the living alone subs, there are many people there who can help you cope with living alone. I am going through it myself.

 

[endeledestein]

go on reddit in the living alone subs, there are many people there who can help you cope with living alone. I am going through it myself.

Im already in all or most of those and have been there for months... it doesnt help

 

[endeledestein]

just pain and more pain and more pain... nobody ever wants me... all i do is survive the pain...

 

[endeledestein]

if i hadnt enough already with this shit... a crazy women started harassing me online, creating fake profiles to stalk me. and its not cause she likes me, its cause she hates me, she just wants to hurt me.. idont want to explain, but if i did something wrong it was the mildest thing ever, it wasnt a heartbreak or anything like that... but i have been told she does that to other guys too... she even contacted my environment to talk shit about me, and shes from another country...

im so tired of people...

nobody wants me and now i have to deal with this shit...

 

[3rdworldsadness]

It's very upsetting. I'm extremely lonely too, never had friends, never talked freely with anyone. I know the soul crushing feeling of lonelyness and anxiety. I have so much anxiety too over everything I'm struggling. We shouldn't suffer like this. I dream about a another dimension where I'm not lonely or struggling anymore. I' am sorry. Hope you can find peace wherever you may be.

 

[endeledestein]

even if i dont post... im still the same... extremely lonely, unwanted... nobody wants me...

so, months ago, a 15 yo girl posted in suicidewatch in reddit. she was lonely and had no one, and it was sad to read but i didnt say anything... she kept posting several times and eventually i sent her a single message telling her that i have read her posts and i cant really talk to her cause im 36, but if it wasnt cause of that i would be her friend and talk to her. she say thank you and thats it... today the same account messaged me and it says its his father and that the girl passed away and gave me thanks for being nice to her... and i feel so guilty...

its so sad too... at the very least she isnt suffering anymore... and she had the courage to do it, unlike the shit coward that i am... massive respect to her, but also sad...

 

[endeledestein]

i am crying... i am so lonely... nobody wants me...

i hope i can end it soon... i need 2 months o prepare shit, i think... but i fear that... i wont do it... but i eventually will do it, but i dont know when...

all i know is that i cant take this pain...

all i wanted was to have a quiet life and share it with someone... but it was too much to ask...

 

[CarbonBased]

even if i dont post... im still the same... extremely lonely, unwanted... nobody wants me...

so, months ago, a 15 yo girl posted in suicidewatch in reddit. she was lonely and had no one, and it was sad to read but i didnt say anything... she kept posting several times and eventually i sent her a single message telling her that i have read her posts and i cant really talk to her cause im 36, but if it wasnt cause of that i would be her friend and talk to her. she say thank you and thats it... today the same account messaged me and it says its his father and that the girl passed away and gave me thanks for being nice to her... and i feel so guilty...

its so sad too... at the very least she isnt suffering anymore... and she had the courage to do it, unlike the shit coward that i am... massive respect to her, but also sad...

That is such a heartbreaking story.. I have frequented this subreddit before, but I never posted for privacy reasons. I hope that you find someone to be together with. Being alone is very difficult

 

[endeledestein]

this last month i started with prostitutes. i never did it before but i said fuck it, i want to try how it feels... i envy other guys because i dont enjoy sex like they do... and the affection... it isnt the same as with being with someone that you love and that loves you back.

if it was for me id keep going but its too expensive, sadly... and it doenst really solve my problem...

after several tiems of going to different ones, i did a blood test for STDs and in one hand i was a bit scared but in the other... i had a faint hope that i had some incurable STD... so I could finally give up in life... but everything came out negative...

i feel so lonely, i am so lonely... nobody ever wants me... i need so much affection and attention from someone i can trust... but nobody ever wants me....

 

[Joarga]

El mes pasado empecé con prostitutas. Nunca lo había hecho antes, pero dije, qué más da, quiero probar qué se siente... Envidio a otros chicos porque no disfruto del sexo como ellos... y el cariño... no es lo mismo que estar con alguien a quien amas y que te ama a ti.

Si fuera por mí, seguiría adelante, pero es demasiado caro, por desgracia... y en realidad no resuelve mi problema...

Después de ir varias veces a diferentes sitios, me hice un análisis de sangre para detectar ETS y, por un lado, estaba un poco asustada, pero por otro... tenía una tenue esperanza de tener alguna ETS incurable... así que finalmente podría rendirme en la vida...

Me siento tan sola, estoy tan sola... nadie me quiere... necesito tanto cariño y atención de alguien en quien pueda confiar... pero nadie me quiere...

Te entiendo, yo también he ido de prostitutas, pero no lo disfruto. Necesito amor ,tener a alguien que me quiera, no por dinero

 

[Ben 111]

Im deeply sorry youre going through this nobody should ever feel this way just remember that you are not alone

 

[endeledestein]

i cant fucking take this anymore... im so extremely lonely and it hurts so much... it hurts, it hurts IT HURTS

 

[endeledestein]

I cant take this shit anymore... It hurts so much. I hate living. I just cant keep going like this...

fuck, i just wrote the same...

 

[endeledestein]

What is the point of anything...

There is nothing in my life that gives me any kind of joy. Everything is uncomfortable or painful. I have sensitive skin and I hate going outside. I have to take at least 1 shower a day or Ill feel uncomfortable. I dont feel the social need to have friends. I dont care about my family and some of them just made my life worse... And the only thing I need, its impossible.

I live in the apartment where I lived all my life. Luckily alone... Im 36, and this apartment needed renovations already when I was 10... But my father never did shit... And it kept getting worse... I only started working 3 years ago earning shit, so I could never fix anything either... And there is another reason that its long to explain.

I hate living here. I hate the neighbors. I hate the shit walls, the shit floor, the shit furniture... Im very hot now always sweating because its very hot. In winter ill be very cold. Ill use several blankets enough to keep me warm for a bit, then it will make me sweat. And Ill always wake up full of sweat and extremely cold...

I literally cant have hobbies. Nothing ever is just enjoyable. Maybe some rare things I could like, but with a caveat. Its always about fixing or putting in order. Its always something to scratch my mind. Its never just for the joy of it, its to "fix" the game. When all its in order, then its finished... And then Im relieved. Who the fuck feels relieved when stop playing... How can that be even enjoyable.

Then my old car, the only one I had. The aircon cant even keep up with this heat.

Why do I have to keep working my job, where I wont be able to afford a house for at least 20 years, supposing very conservative saving... Why do I have to endure this shit if all I do is suffer...

But everything would be worth it if I at least had someone... Someone to tell all this shit... Someone to cry to... That understood me, that saw my suffering and just wanted to make it less and cuddle me... Someone that would take care of me... But to take care of. Someone to worry about her problems and help her whenever possible... Someone to share this shit life... To see every day, to be just there. Someone to fight for in this shit life...

But I dont have shit. Im pathetic. Nobody would ever want me. I have nothing, therefore I am nothing. And even if I had something, all this dependency and all my shit... Its just too much of a handicap... Nobody can ever want me or my company or my care...

There is no point in enduring this suffering.

 

[monkeyfff]

We are scum, filth and utterly worthless and the undesirable males of this species.

 

[endeledestein]

I can't take this anymore. I just can't...

I just wanted somebody to share thosbshit life with... I would have taken care of her... But nobody wants me...
I see women with pieces of shit that treat them bad and make them suffer, or worse... But I must be much worse than all of them...

I see no end to this loneliness... There is no point in living for me...