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AnotherNobody

AnotherNobody

Member
Nov 12, 2020
29
After having to delay my date for a long time tonight is it.


For the purpose of documentation, I will be taking my SN with nothing at 1AM EST. I will not have eaten anything in about 30 hours. Not meto, antacids painkillers (they have not arrived and I haven't been able to leave my apartment.)


I will attempt to document what I'm feeling as it happens. I'll have a second solution prepared in case I throw up.

My emails are scheduled to be sent the day after tomorrow to make sure I don't actually survive this. I want this to be over. The fact I'm gonna hurt people has been heavy on me.

Thanks to everyone who has been of help here.
 
I

iwanttodie000

Student
Feb 15, 2021
199
After having to delay my date for a long time tonight is it.


For the purpose of documentation, I will be taking my SN with nothing at 1AM EST. I will not have eaten anything in about 30 hours. Not meto, antacids painkillers (they have not arrived and I haven't been able to leave my apartment.)


I will attempt to document what I'm feeling as it happens. I'll have a second solution prepared in case I throw up.

My emails are scheduled to be sent the day after tomorrow to make sure I don't actually survive this. I want this to be over. The fact I'm gonna hurt people has been heavy on me.

Thanks to everyone who has been of help here.
Sending you love and peace, wishing you a peaceful journey
 
AnotherNobody

AnotherNobody

Member
Nov 12, 2020
29
hey mate

how are you feeling about it? im sorry its come to this for you :(
A bit heavy hearted, I'm filled with the regrets of what I didn't accomplish, but it's time, I can't continue like this and my breaking point has long been reached.

I've known for 3 years now it would come to this.
Looks like you have a plan.

I'm really sorry you're leaving this world. I wish you could stay with us but of course I respect your decision.

Anyway, wish you lots of love and eternal peace.
Thank you for the kind words and your presence on this site, your words always echoed with reason, I wish you the best too.
 
popcorn

popcorn

Experienced
Dec 20, 2020
298
A bit heavy hearted, I'm filled with the regrets of what I didn't accomplish, but it's time, I can't continue like this and my breaking point has long been reached.

I've known for 3 years now it would come to this.

Thank you for the kind words and your presence on this site, your words always echoed with reason, I wish you the best too.

are these regrets not able to be turned around and accomplished? i feel sad that you are going to leave mate, i wish i could fix things for you
 
AnotherNobody

AnotherNobody

Member
Nov 12, 2020
29
are these regrets not able to be turned around and accomplished? i feel sad that you are going to leave mate, i wish i could fix things for you
Unfortunately, yes, I don't think there's anything to do, which is why I've come to this point, thank you for your words. It makes me realize that some people do understand. I know these words are just to avoid it being an impulse decision, so thanks.
 
popcorn

popcorn

Experienced
Dec 20, 2020
298
Unfortunately, yes, I don't think there's anything to do, which is why I've come to this point, thank you for your words. It makes me realize that some people do understand. I know these words are just to avoid it being an impulse decision, so thanks.
not necessarily, impulsive decisions are still caused by genuine despair. i just feel sorrow that another soul is leaving this unkind world.. i do however understand how you feel, we are both on this website for the same reasons

i know we dont know one another i just really wish i could help somehow. sending you positive vibes and light my friend. please feel welcome to message me and talk if you wish
 
Moonbounce

Moonbounce

Prototype
Aug 12, 2020
133
I wish you a peaceful transition, friend.
In a way I envy you, because ctb is on my mind every single day but my SI is just too strong I can't make a plan. But you seem to know what you're doing. I should also say that the fact that you plan to document it is quite helpful to us and is in no way necessary.
 
Wrennie

Wrennie

-
Dec 18, 2019
1,559
Sending you a big, warm virtual hug :hug: :hug: :hug:

It is so immensely thoughtful of you to attempt to document your transition for the benefit of our community, but I do hope that you won't end up forfeiting your own comfort for the sake of keeping us in the know. Ultimately it's your CTB and you're what matters!

Like others here have stated, it is nothing short of a tragedy that your circumstances have driven you to this point. I am so sorry that life has bullied you so severely. I'm in a similar position so I can understand the desire for a permanent release. Sending you all of my love & more. :heart:
 
botanormal

botanormal

Mage
Nov 9, 2020
550
I am so sorry it has reached this point for you, it is never an easy choice to make. If this is your final decision, then I do hope you are finally able to find some peace soon, and I'm wishing you so much love & comfort on your journey. We're here with you, okay? :hug:
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I had my alarm set for now. I will be here with you.

beautiful_international_gardens_600.png
 
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