I believe I have had one of the worst lives

[hassan]

I am 23 years old I have been suffering with severe mental health all my life which includes depression, anxiety, social anxiety, bipolar and psychotic episodes. I was bullied all throughout school for being obese. I have never had any friends in my life. I now have no relationship with my family. I have never been happy my whole life and have been living with depression since the age of 13. My dad is extremely abusive who used to beat up my mother growing up and has beat me up in the past which I have now cut him off.

I lost my successful business which I blame myself for and I am constant guilt 24/7. After 5 years at university I have failed my degree. I have never been in a relationship and I know I never will be. I have never had a social life and never will. Due to all these issues I have been in physical fights with my siblings which has caused us to have a very bad relationship. I had a stomach gastric sleeve surgery which has caused me unable to eat or drink and causes severe pain and vomiting. I also believe to have brain damage which causes me many difficulties in my daily life, functioning communicating, being able to work and live a normal life. As a cause of these issues, I have no friends or family. I am also severely obese at over 150kg which makes it very difficult to move around and especially getting a job. Every moment of my life is torture as it has been for over 10 years. I have been through all the treatment options lasting over 10 years including psychiatrists, medications, anti-depressants and hospital psychiatric wards.

I have no hope for the future except suffering and death is my only wish. I have tried hanging myself many times but survival instincts start kicking in and I stand up as I have no where high to stand from. I plan on applying for a firearms licence and getting a firearm however I am not sure if this will be possible as I have been hospitalised for a psychotic episode before where the police took me to the hospital.

 

[jodes2]

Fwiw, you communicate well, if you ask me. Sorry you've been through so much hanging is a bitch. And the problem with firearms is it's too easy to flinch as you're pulling the trigger and just blow your face off :-/

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you've been through, it's just so incredibly unfair how all this suffering and torture is even able to exist.
It certainly does make the hanging method sound much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people managing to succeed with it, I hate how actually trying to leave this world can potentially involve difficulties and risks. We really shouldn't have to suffer so much in finally ending our existences so I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[ctb7767]

OP I agree your situation sucks but you are still very young. I just saw this article for some new weight loss drugs, have you looked into it yet?

 

[JM2RXA]

OP I agree your situation sucks but you are still very young. I just saw this article for some new weight loss drugs, have you looked into it yet?

Just want to say, avoid weight loss pills as they are almost guaranteed a scam and often contain dangerous (and before anyone gets excited...slow) poisons.

 

[hassan]

OP I agree your situation sucks but you are still very young. I just saw this article for some new weight loss drugs, have you looked into it yet?

Weight loss is the last of my worries I have so many worries that I seem to have them in order of least to worst

Just want to say, avoid weight loss pills as they are almost guaranteed a scam and often contain dangerous (and before anyone gets excited...slow) poisons.

And weight loss is the last of my worries at this point

That sounds really horrible what you've been through, it's just so incredibly unfair how all this suffering and torture is even able to exist.
It certainly does make the hanging method sound much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people managing to succeed with it, I hate how actually trying to leave this world can potentially involve difficulties and risks. We really shouldn't have to suffer so much in finally ending our existences so I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for.

Thanks hopefully I will ctb very soon if my sn arrives successfully